5 yo pee accidents
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
5yo boy has been fully potty trained for about 2 years, since just before he turned 3. We had occasional pee accidents in the beginning, but NBD. The last few months he’s having almost daily pee accidents. Some of it I know is not paying attention/getting lost in play and not noticing he has to go, and some of it is independence - insisting he doesn’t have to go and refusing to go when prompted. But seriously it is getting ridiculous. He spent 2 hours in the car in wet underwear and pants on Sunday because he refused to go at the bathroom and then wet himself on the way to the car, and still he has had accidents at preschool every day this week. I mentioned it to the teacher but she didn’t have any insight.
Any tips on handling this? We’ve tried ignoring, making him clean up, bribing, threats, and consequences. Not proud, but we’re frustrated. I don’t think it’s medical because he’ll be holding his penis and wiggling and insist he absolutely does not have to go! About 90 seconds before an accident. |
Anonymous
|
He sounds a little like my 5 yo DD. The only thing that works is to make her use the potty before doing anything she wants to do. Basically so she has to go before it becomes urgent because then it is too late. "I want to play with magnatiles" "Okay, please go use the potty first". DD doesn't typically have accidents at daycare though.
Do they do regular potty breaks at preschool? Is there a particular time when this at preschool? |
Anonymous
| Had this happen before, tell him he’s going to need to start having a diaper again if he’s not making it to the bathroom. |
Anonymous
|
I get the frustration, but stop punishing him for it. He is not doing it on purpose.
You need to investigate. First off, talk to the pediatrician. The fact that he will be 100% sure he doesn't have to go and then have an accident 90 second later actually could indicate that it is a medical problem. So start there. Talk to his teacher to find out both (1) if and when he's going at school, and (2) if she has noticed any behavioral issues you should be aware. The first will give you a sense of whether he is regularly voiding his bladder, which is important info. Some kids will try to hold it in all day for a variety of reasons. And behavioral info can be a clue to what those reasons might be -- doesn't like the bathroom at school, gets distracted and misses bathroom break, etc. Talk to him about the importance of using the bathroom regularly. Do you have a book about the human body for kids? Get one if not. Show him how the bladder works and explain why it's important not to ignore the urge to pee, and how peeing even when your bladder isn't full can help because it makes space. Get him on a schedule for using the bathroom at home. Always first thing in the morning. If he's an early riser and has liquids with breakfast, he should also be sitting before leaving for school. Always when you get home. Always right before bed. If you can get those covered, the opportunities for accidents will be pretty minimal. When he has an accident, just be matter of fact about it. Yes ask him to help clean up, but don't try to shame him. If this is happening daily, it is not his fault. The only time it's appropriate to get upset with a 5 yr old for having an accident is if you specifically told them they should go according to the pre-set schedule, and they refused, and then had an accident. That's the only situation in which they really have true culpability, and even then I'd be asking myself "why are they fighting using the bathroom when I ask?" |
Anonymous
Worked with my brother when he was little and he was having accidents because he didn’t want to stop playing to go to the bathroom. Mom told him he’d need to have them at school too if he wasn’t staying dry. |
Anonymous
|
Going through the exact thing with my four year old now! I also think he’s merely refusing to go, even when wiggling and being asked if he has to pee. We are trying reminders for now and then will escalate to the pediatrician if that doesn’t work.
Good to know we’re not alone! |
Anonymous
|
I would restart potty training. From square one, but make it a pain in the ass for him to not be using the big boy potty.
"Oh, sorry we can't do (Fun thing) because that's only for kids that can stay try and use the toilet." Make him realize it's more worth it to him to be going to the bathroom. Otherwise, I'd back off. Get a box of pull-ups or diapers in his size, and don't let it stress you all too much. |
Anonymous
| You need to get take him to the pediatrician to rule out type 1 diabetes. This is similar to my experience with my 4 year old. It may well be another reason but it is life threatening if it is diabetes. |
Anonymous
I was going to mention this as well. It’s certainly low probability, but life-threatening if ignored. Keep in mind that you do not need to have any family history to have a diabetic child. If there is any autoimmune whatsoever in your family, You would have increased likelihood (Celiac, ulcerative colitis , etc.) |
Anonymous
| What you’re doing now is telling him to go then allowing him to refuse. You’re teaching him to ignore you. |
Anonymous
|
This isn't the place to be diagnosing. And I'm not a doctor - only suggesting this because it's very much *NOT* a serious thing for a kid to have going on.
BUT... If you think he's going frequently in an abnormal way, with no pain, or discomfort of any sort. It could potentially be Pollakiuria. https://www.stlouischildrens.org/conditions-treatments/pollakiuria Scary sounding name, but actually it's not a big deal (as per our kids pediatric urologist). Usually resolves itself in time. Not saying that's what your son has going on! But, the shoe fits. |
Anonymous
Did OP say her son was urinating frequently? Or just not using the potty when he needs to? |
Anonymous
| Is he pooping OK? Could he be constipated? |