IVF - what do you wish you'd known before you started

[Anonymous]

We're starting IVF this month (unexplained secondary infertility, if it matters, and I'm with Shady Grove).

I'm reading all the stuff and asking all the questions - but I don't know what I don't know.

So - if you've been through this - what do you wish you'd known before you started?

[Anonymous]

Based on advice from others, my partner and I sat down and talked about the what-ifs and drew some physical, mental, and financial boundaries. We wrote down what we agreed to so we could remember accurately what we discussed. For us, we decided on no more than 3 fresh retrievals or $100k, which ever came first. No donor eggs or embryos. We would only implant 1 at a time. We would freeze any leftover embryos and not make any decisions until our youngest child was 1 yr old.

At the time I was heavily involved on the Resolve message boards and I watched many people chase after a successful pregnancy “by any means necessary” only to have their marriage fall apart from the stress or dig themselves into an impossible financial situation. I was determined to make sure my own mental health, my marriage, and my financial future were prioritized when I was in the throes of hormone shots possibly chasing sunk costs.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for this! I've noticed the same sorts of attitudes on a lot of infertility boards, and it's so heartbreaking. We're in a bit of a different boat (since we already have a child) so I won't pretend to understand the desperation. But agree with the idea to set limits up front.

We are doing Shady Grove Shared Risk, and we've decided that's all we're willing to do. If we exhaust that (too many failed retrievals, too many cycles, too old, whatever reason), then we're done and we make the peace with the family we have now.

[Anonymous]

Food is medicine too. Diet can greatly affect ivf outcomes

[Anonymous]

That I wasn't alone. I think more of our friends with kids did IVF or IUI to conceive than those that didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Food is medicine too. Diet can greatly affect ivf outcomes

OP here. Have you done IVF? Do you have any research on this you can share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is medicine too. Diet can greatly affect ivf outcomes

OP here. Have you done IVF? Do you have any research on this you can share?

I did ivf and feel like the success was in large part due to what i ate. Of course its all anecdotal but I'm sure there's research out there both supporting and refuting this

[Anonymous]

Join SGF fertility support group.

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd known how easy it would be. I'd wasted so much time and mental energy on IUIs that didn't work because I was so scared of IVF. I didn't take any extra supplements except baby asprin and progesterone. I ate normally. I did natural cycle so no pumping myself full of hormones. I got one good egg and that child is now 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is medicine too. Diet can greatly affect ivf outcomes

OP here. Have you done IVF? Do you have any research on this you can share?

I did ivf and feel like the success was in large part due to what i ate. Of course its all anecdotal but I'm sure there's research out there both supporting and refuting this

Quick Google search found this
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8764863/
https://www.zitawestclinic.com/ivf/nutrition-for-ivf/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mediterranean-diet-may-help-increase-chances-successful-ivf

Also TCM supports food as medicine and i did teas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I'd known how easy it would be. I'd wasted so much time and mental energy on IUIs that didn't work because I was so scared of IVF. I didn't take any extra supplements except baby asprin and progesterone. I ate normally. I did natural cycle so no pumping myself full of hormones. I got one good egg and that child is now 10.

This was for my second, btw. Did the IUIs for my first child which did't work then got pregnant naturally after trying for over 2 years. For the second, after a year of trying without even 1 BFP, skipped doing IUI again and did IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Food is medicine too. Diet can greatly affect ivf outcomes

OP here. Have you done IVF? Do you have any research on this you can share?

I did ivf and feel like the success was in large part due to what i ate. Of course its all anecdotal but I'm sure there's research out there both supporting and refuting this

I'm dh. After I quit caffeine and sugar my motile count went up.

I wish I'd known how to give the trigger shot. I suspect I messed up one of our attempts because I didn't do the shot right.

Also every failure should be mourned together.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Ask your doctor for very clear analysis on what you should expect based on your numbers but know that it could be totally off. IVF is a crapshoot.Have a plan but be open minded.
Some people have great results from first round, for others, the first round is a super frustrating learning experience.
Plan your life for the next few months in pencil.
Start açaí at least two months before an egg retrieval. Look up the studies.

[Anonymous]

How long it would take. That my "care team" at Shady Grove wouldn't be particularly attentive to detail, caring about my outcome, or even the same people from appointment to appointment. That I'd see my actual doctor only 4 times in 3 years, and in three of those meetings she would introduce herself with "nice to meet you" because I wasn't just a name/number to her, I was a literal stranger. That I should take responsibility for researching protocols and making my own suggestions and pushing them to listen to me. That the only person who would care about me taking the next steps toward actually achieving a pregnancy would be me.

Good luck.