Mean kids at the park

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 3 year old and I find myself having to constantly monitor other children at the park. My daughter is sweet and outgoing and during almost every playground visit there are several kids being flagrantly unkind to her or others. I’m talking blocking people from using the equipment, telling other children that they can’t play with them and don’t like them, and pushing. Today two little girls treated my daughter poorly and when she went off to play alone, they followed her and remarked, “she’s really sad and we’re really happy.” With older kids I understand being more hands off, but why are people ignoring their preschoolers at the park? I’m tired of being kind about it and trying to reason with the kids, and have started saying within earshot, “I’m sure there are nice kids here, come on.”

[Anonymous]

Wow, where do you live? I have a three year old and haven’t experienced this at all. Not like there aren’t normal play issues but I haven’t seen a lot of straight unkindness.

[Anonymous]

Because “monitoring other people’s children” is terrible parenting. I watch my kids for physical stuff like pushing, but kids need to learn to sort out the other things on their own. And they can, but not with people like OP in the way all the time.

[Anonymous]

Just go at a different time or find a different park. Those kids sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because “monitoring other people’s children” is terrible parenting. I watch my kids for physical stuff like pushing, but kids need to learn to sort out the other things on their own. And they can, but not with people like OP in the way all the time.

You’re the one whining about how your child’s teacher is targeting your kid and you’ve never gotten negative feedback about them before, aren’t you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have never had a problem with telling other kids when they are being jerks. Let the little monsters go tell mommy. I'd be happy to discuss her poor patenting and how she's raising a sociopath. I'm comfortable with this conversations.

[Anonymous]

Where are you taking your kid to parks?
Who is with the mean kids? Parents or nanny/caretakers? Are the people watching the mean kids engaged or checked out, scrolling phones?

Once kids are older - elementary age - they will be more accustomed to taking directions from adults who are not their parents at sports and other activities. Most elementary activities are also volunteer coaches, so parents who fill those roles learn that it’s not just ok, but necessary to correct or intervene with other people’s children.

Parents whose oldest is a toddler may take issue with you correcting their child, but I doubt a nanny or more experienced parent would. Just tell kids “please don’t throw sand, it hurts my eyes” “please only go down the slide so everyone can use it” “that’s not kind language” etc.

[Anonymous]

Call the police

[Anonymous]

Same age kid and I also hate when other kids are more or less unsupervised at the playground. I haven’t encounter as mean behavior as you describe but behavior that still needs intervention and I never know what to do. Usually it’s nannies sitting around chatting with each other or on the phone so they’re not supervising. I will usually try to redirect my child away from such kids though. I will make statements like an earlier PP suggested, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same age kid and I also hate when other kids are more or less unsupervised at the playground. I haven’t encounter as mean behavior as you describe but behavior that still needs intervention and I never know what to do. Usually it’s nannies sitting around chatting with each other or on the phone so they’re not supervising. I will usually try to redirect my child away from such kids though. I will make statements like an earlier PP suggested, too.

Agree that nannies can be an issue (they were today) but I’ve seen an equal amount of this hands off attitude with parents when they’re with friends. I’ve stopped going to a certain playground because it’s frequented by a group of parents who just ignore their kids and sit around chatting with each other. I feel like some parents are sick of their kids (been there!) and think that going to the park is a free pass to stop supervising them. Again, older kids need to know how to resolve issues/find an adult to help when needed, but three year olds aren’t there yet.

[Anonymous]

I've never encountered this. The only really egregious behavior I've seen is allowing older kids (>8) to push smaller kids or block them from using the equipment. You sound abnormally sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Speak up when other kids are blocking the equipment or pushing. “ excuse me, Sally would like a turn down the slide.” And if they push or hit, sternly say “do not push my daughter”.

Sadly, you can’t do much about them not wanting to play with your daughter or them making snide comments.

[Anonymous]

Teach your daughter how to fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same age kid and I also hate when other kids are more or less unsupervised at the playground. I haven’t encounter as mean behavior as you describe but behavior that still needs intervention and I never know what to do. Usually it’s nannies sitting around chatting with each other or on the phone so they’re not supervising. I will usually try to redirect my child away from such kids though. I will make statements like an earlier PP suggested, too.

Agree that nannies can be an issue (they were today) but I’ve seen an equal amount of this hands off attitude with parents when they’re with friends. I’ve stopped going to a certain playground because it’s frequented by a group of parents who just ignore their kids and sit around chatting with each other. I feel like some parents are sick of their kids (been there!) and think that going to the park is a free pass to stop supervising them. Again, older kids need to know how to resolve issues/find an adult to help when needed, but three year olds aren’t there yet.

I’m a SAHM so I spend a LOT of time at playgrounds.

1) I’m often “checked out.” I’m with my kid all day, every day. If I were on top of them all the time, they would definitely end up insane. The playground is, imo, an ideal place for caregivers to take a back seat and let kids play independently. You can provide adequate supervision and still do some scrolling or a call.

2) I have no hesitation speaking to other people’s kids and I think it’s weird that anyone would. I will absolutely say “she’s too little for that” or “can we take turns on the swing” or whatever. I’ve never had this be a problem. I’ve also never seen a kid be genuinely unkind to mine, but I would certainly intervene without hesitation. Most likely I’d just redirect my child but if the other kid were really a problem I’d find their caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speak up when other kids are blocking the equipment or pushing. “ excuse me, Sally would like a turn down the slide.” And if they push or hit, sternly say “do not push my daughter”.

Sadly, you can’t do much about them not wanting to play with your daughter or them making snide comments.

If a kid is really out of bounds I’ll shout “She’s going to slide into you and kick you in the face if you don’t move.” Sometimes that brings the parents over.