have you shared your first relationship details (age, how far it went, etc) with your teen?

[Anonymous]

DD13 is asking when I had my first boyfriend, what age I was when I had my first kiss, etc.
Not sure how comfortable I am with disclosing, especially when I first had intercourse etc (I was way too young).
How do you navigate these convos when you don't want to fully disclose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD13 is asking when I had my first boyfriend, what age I was when I had my first kiss, etc.
Not sure how comfortable I am with disclosing, especially when I first had intercourse etc (I was way too young).
How do you navigate these convos when you don't want to fully disclose?

Lie.

[Anonymous]

"I do not share details of my sex life with children." Happy to share when I had my first boyfriend and how long we dated.

[Anonymous]

Agree with both PPs. I’d probably either lie or just say we don’t discuss that.

[Anonymous]

Well yes, because he's my husband and her father. We met in college.

You needn't lie, but you can absolutely omit certain truths.

[Anonymous]

It's none of my child's business. And I say this as someone who is REALLY close to my daughter. But I'm not her best friend. I think she doesn't really want to know anyway. You can't unlearn that info and there's no right answer.

[Anonymous]

Our parents arranged our marriage, so there is really nothing to tell. We are very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's none of my child's business. And I say this as someone who is REALLY close to my daughter. But I'm not her best friend. I think she doesn't really want to know anyway. You can't unlearn that info and there's no right answer.

This. Some things I answer, like she asked if I ever had a miscarriage because they are studying sexual health and reproduction. That I answered. Once she asked something about age of sexual activity and I said that was none of her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's none of my child's business. And I say this as someone who is REALLY close to my daughter. But I'm not her best friend. I think she doesn't really want to know anyway. You can't unlearn that info and there's no right answer.

This. Some things I answer, like she asked if I ever had a miscarriage because they are studying sexual health and reproduction. That I answered. Once she asked something about age of sexual activity and I said that was none of her business.

The "none of her business" approach seems cold and not smart to me. If your DD is asking, they are clearly trying to gauge what we as the mother thinks is okay (what we thought was okay for ourselves) and for her. If you refuse to tell her what age you lost your virginity for example, I would assume she will think you lost it very young (her current age or younger).

[Anonymous]

I guess I am an outlier. I told my daughter my first kiss (8th grade) and I lost my virginity to my junior boyfriend at 16 and it didn’t feel right and was too soon (2 months into relationship) I decided I didn’t want this type of relationship. Broke up with him and stayed single until the beginning of senior year and waited 5 months to have sex and I was sure. And it was a great healthy relationship before and after. Lasted a few years until we went out separate ways. Now my 20’s college and clubbing days I may not divulge until she is in college, but woah what a time!!! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD13 is asking when I had my first boyfriend, what age I was when I had my first kiss, etc.
Not sure how comfortable I am with disclosing, especially when I first had intercourse etc (I was way too young).
How do you navigate these convos when you don't want to fully disclose?

Why wouldn’t you admit you were too young? They are going to base their own lives in yours

[Anonymous]

Of course I am honest with my teens. About relationships, sex, drug, and alcohol use.

Why lie to them if you want honesty from them? Pretty embarrassing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's none of my child's business. And I say this as someone who is REALLY close to my daughter. But I'm not her best friend. I think she doesn't really want to know anyway. You can't unlearn that info and there's no right answer.

This. Some things I answer, like she asked if I ever had a miscarriage because they are studying sexual health and reproduction. That I answered. Once she asked something about age of sexual activity and I said that was none of her business.

The "none of her business" approach seems cold and not smart to me. If your DD is asking, they are clearly trying to gauge what we as the mother thinks is okay (what we thought was okay for ourselves) and for her. If you refuse to tell her what age you lost your virginity for example, I would assume she will think you lost it very young (her current age or younger).

I agree with this. The teen's reaction will be either you lost it very young and you are ashamed of this, or you were a complete loser and lost it...how old is your teen? subtract her years + 9 months assuming she is the oldest in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's none of my child's business. And I say this as someone who is REALLY close to my daughter. But I'm not her best friend. I think she doesn't really want to know anyway. You can't unlearn that info and there's no right answer.

This. Some things I answer, like she asked if I ever had a miscarriage because they are studying sexual health and reproduction. That I answered. Once she asked something about age of sexual activity and I said that was none of her business.

The "none of her business" approach seems cold and not smart to me. If your DD is asking, they are clearly trying to gauge what we as the mother thinks is okay (what we thought was okay for ourselves) and for her. If you refuse to tell her what age you lost your virginity for example, I would assume she will think you lost it very young (her current age or younger).

I agree with this. The teen's reaction will be either you lost it very young and you are ashamed of this, or you were a complete loser and lost it...how old is your teen? subtract her years + 9 months assuming she is the oldest in the family.

Which is sort of the default mode most kids want to know about their parents. Many assume number of times having sex matches the number of children. This might not be the best approach, either, but not uncommon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course I am honest with my teens. About relationships, sex, drug, and alcohol use.

Why lie to them if you want honesty from them? Pretty embarrassing

+1