My father died of end stage colon cancer what was discovered 1 month before he passed

[Anonymous]

The week before he went to the hospital he was walking 10k steps. Once admitted he deteriorated quickly and it was discovered quickly that he had end stage colon cancer that had metastasized all over and he was dying.

It was very sudden and quick with him getting worse and weak every day until I saw him take his last breath.

I am devastated and I go between deep grief and shock.

I cannot imagine that he would have cancer and that it would take him so quickly!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. Cancer sucks.

[Anonymous]

Oh I am so sorry. What a terrible shock. Something similar happened to my father two years ago. He died very quickly and it was a shock.

[Anonymous]

My 40 year old BIL passed away from a brain tumor that killed him in 3 weeks (from first symptom to death). His doctors told us he had 6 months to a year, so it came as a great shock.

I'm very sorry, OP. All I can tell you is that when this happens, at least you know they didn't have time to suffer for too long.

Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

Also, and I know you're not thinking about this right now, but get tested regularly, as well as all your siblings.

[Anonymous]

Happened to a friend's wife. From pancreatic cancer diagnosis to death was 6 weeks. Doctors had dismissed her symptoms for months until she had visible jaundice. She had a stomach bleed and died pretty much instantly. Her granddaughter was born that day.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. That is awful.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. I understand a little of how you feel since several years ago, my father died of lung cancer. He was in his late sixties and had never smoked a cigarette in his life. We had a few terrifying months in which he was in and out of the hospital, deteriorating before our eyes for reasons nobody seemed to understand.
His lung cancer was diagnosed only on autopsy.
We took a big family vacation a few months before he got sick, and my father was healthy and walking probably 8 or 10 miles a day. It’s so shocking and heartbreaking to a fast-acting cancer. Those several months seem to have taken no time and to have lasted forever. My thoughts are with you.

[Anonymous]

Very sorry OP, this must be very hard. I lost father when he was vacationing with Mom. That was very unexpected and hard to comprehend.

It is scary this decease can go without symptoms this far where you almost get no chance. I thought this can be caught on colonoscopies...

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. It’s truly a shock. Not a fair comparison maybe but I happened to be with my mom moments before she died - it was sudden although not entirely unexpected. She died about 5 minutes after I left. This was months ago and the grief runs deep - good days and bad days.

Sometimes I feel haunted and think about the hours, days, minutes we spent together on what was to be the last day of her life - recounting vividly how she looked, sounded, what we talked about - I’m getting emotional now typing this. Other times I’ll think back to that day and feel grateful and more peaceful - just depends, I guess.

There are entire days/hours and conversations in and around the time of her funeral that I really can’t remember, at all. I’ve experienced this type of memory loss before during intense stress and believe it’s a protective mechanism.
I’m actually grateful for this.

My sleep was disrupted, as was my appetite.

Know that you are so vulnerable now. Please please take care of yourself. Take friends up on any and all offers of support. Let people help you. Try to rest, try to eat decently, take time to cry and sit with all of the emotions. Make sure someone is looking out for you and can intervene if you become mentally or physically unwell.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s awful to lose a beloved parent, whether it’s quick and unexpected or a long, gradual decline. It’s awful, period.

My father had cholangiocarcinoma, a somewhat rare form of cancer that is rarely discovered before it’s terminal. In 7 weeks he went from being very physically active, with strength and stamina, to a nearly unrecognizable shriveled husk. We were traumatized by witnessing the transformation. People who hadn’t seen him since his diagnosis were completely shocked by his death. I spent the first year after his death in a fog, knowing that he was dead, but also feeling like I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t ready to die at the time his cancer was found. At that point, he was still very busy, leading an active life, serving his community, and making plans for the future.

Your father’s death probably doesn’t feel real yet, and it may not for a while. The passage of time will very gradually dull your pain. You’ll always miss your dad and will continue to be sad that he’s passed, but over time, the waves of grief will lose some intensity and become less frequent. You will eventually have a memory of him that will make you laugh. You’ll be able to share a story about him without getting teary eyed. He may visit you in your dreams. He will continue to be an influential figure in your life.

Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry.

I wish you’d had more time to prepare and say goodbye.

Tho my parents are dying long slow deaths with dementia and cancer and it’s awful. At least he didn’t suffer long

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss, OP. You are definitely in a period of shock and grief but it will get better with time.

I had a similar situation with a dear friend who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at 45 and dead within a month. She had zero symptoms until a week before her diagnosis (which was what lead her to go to the doctor). I also had experience with my dear aunt who was diagnosed with brain cancer in her late 50s and given 6 months to live, but she survived for 2 years. It was truly a horrible 2 years though and ever since I have believed that maybe a quicker diagnosis to death would have been preferable. We all knew she would die, but the question was when which made it so hard. Additionally, she had zero quality of life and the treatments were brutal on her. I am just mentioning this because going quickly was probably much better for your father in the long run and he suffered much less.

I wish you peace. Take care of yourself.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry for your loss, OP. It was three weeks from diagnosis for my dad (pancreatic cancer).

Be gentle with yourself.