Housewife vs SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I am a housewife? More of a house manager since I have outsourced most things and my husband takes care of the kitchen after he comes back from his office. I am raising two kids who do normal amount of activities...nothing crazy. They are however doing very well at school. I quit my job to be available to my kids at home, but now that they are just a few years away from graduating, I don't think I will ever go back to work.

I am pretty happy with my life and I am not bored at home. I guess if I become bored once my kids leave then I will think of something. Perhaps I will start a FB account. I don't know. Right now I have my various hobbies and projects that keep me occupied and amused.

You don't sound very bright.

She sounds very bright to me. If she can manage to have a happy life and not
work at a paying job where she's controlled by a boss, she's brilliant!

What happens if the boss (husband) files for divorce? Maybe the various hobbies and projects pay a salary...

My prenup would protect what was mine coming into the marriage and I would get half of everything from the past 12 years that I have been out of the workforce and married with children. My premarital assets are such that I won't ever need to return to work, unless I choose to.

I'm sorry that you look at your husband as a boss, mine is a coparent and partner. Everyone does things differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm definitely not a feminist, but I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

Of course we're all anonymous. I'm not sure what your point is. There have always been multiple posters on DCUM who seem irrationally upset over the choice many women make to SAH. It defies logic, as this choice doesn't affect anyone but the family in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

DP here. This is absolutely not true. At least here on DCUM, the most vociferous "feminists" are those who constantly disparage SAHMs. Of course, they sing the praises of their child care providers, but women who actually want to *gasp* care for their own children receive only scorn from them. Good thing the real world is nothing like DCUM, and no one actually pays attention to these bitter harpies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

Of course we're all anonymous. I'm not sure what your point is. There have always been multiple posters on DCUM who seem irrationally upset over the choice many women make to SAH. It defies logic, as this choice doesn't affect anyone but the family in question.

It's not irrational to be upset by people like the poster like the one immediately previous to you:

I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

No one ever tells men they are harming their kids by working full time. And this thread isn't even about working mothers, but here we have a gratuitous dig at them.

[Anonymous]

It's not irrational to be upset by people like the poster like the one immediately previous to you:

I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

No one ever tells men they are harming their kids by working full time. And this thread isn't even about working mothers, but here we have a gratuitous dig at them.


That's correct. Men will do only as little or as much as we expect of them. Of course, we have to ask them to do it in the first place!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm definitely not a feminist, but I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm definitely not a feminist, but I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

My point is that it's feminists who push society to value the contributions of caregivers -- paid and unpaid. So if that's a goal you support, maybe you should reconsider about not being a feminist.

[Anonymous]

I'd let someone in feminist PR know that there are fake feminists abounding on DCUM then- the cruelest comments I've seen made to SAHM have been from self proclaimed feminists on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Good for you. I'm glad that things have worked out for you. You know who else talks about the importance (including the economic importance) of child care and other caring work, paid as well as unpaid? Women's libbers -- aka feminists.

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm definitely not a feminist, but I think the best thing for children is to be cared for by people who LOVE them, and most day care workers do not love the children that they are caring for. Not saying all day cares are bad, but leaving your children in a daycare center for 8-10 hours a day 5 days a week isn't a good thing either.

My point is that it's feminists who push society to value the contributions of caregivers -- paid and unpaid. So if that's a goal you support, maybe you should reconsider about not being a feminist.

No way. I don't need to be a feminist to care about how people are treated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

Hmm, someone is irrationally bitter and angry here about total strangers. Lighten up, lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree with you- talk about societal changes all you want- but alll of my working friends are the default parent on top of working full time- nothing about that is appealing to me. It's why I SAH.

Bingo. I actually think the product of women's lib actually made it worse for a lot of moms. Saturated employment market, reduced salaries, but now have the cost/burden of childcare.

Families used to get on just fine on one income. Not so these days. And, yes, mom is still the default parent or primary caregiver 8/10.

So I guess we still need more women's lib.

Or we can acknowlwdge that people have different strengths, set up our families in ways that work for us, and stop pretending that different can't be even more wonderful than pretending we are all the exact same to achieve "equality".

That actually is women's lib. I'm glad that we agree.

Really? Because you seem upset whenever women say they stay home with their kids. And And God forbid they *enjoy* it.

How do yo know this? We're all Anonymous here on this forum.

Omg dcum is LOADED with bitter, angry, hateful working moms who constantly lash out at sahms. They are jealous. They pretend they aren't, but they are. There are a handful of working moms who don't care who works and who sah, but most of the wohm on dcum are bitter, jealous, and angry.

I stayed home until child started school and then started working part time. I still work part time and handle all of the stuff I did as a sahm, just not the same quality as I did when I was home. I'm currently looking to work full time, I imagine things will change when that happens. I'll need more help since I'll be working more hours outside the home. I see a lot of value in the work that sahms do. Especially the quality of childcare.

+ 1

I am a working mom and even I can see this. If you really don't care, you don't lash out the way these posters do. They take it so personally because they are obviously jealous. That's the only logical explanation. Me? I have no choice but to work. If I don't work, we don't eat. Kids gotta eat. So I don't have any mixed emotions about it. That makes it easier to see that everyone is doing what's best for them and not take it personally.