Downsizing when you age or empty nesters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

It's not very young whatsoever. I don't know why you think it's a flex to be a 60-year old with a teenager, and yeah it's a lot worse having kids in your 50s.

You are listing a bunch of celebrities that I am sure you know are outsourcing nearly every facet of raising a kid, right? They have a FT nanny and housekeeper and lots of $$$s.

So, the moral of your story is to first get very rich (and probably famous)...and then just keep popping them out because it's not like you will be changing any diapers.

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I’m NOT going to do (courtesy of my late parents AND elderly ILs):

- proclaim that I love my house so much that I’ll never, ever leave - ever

- keep every closet, a two car garage and an unfinished basement of my nearly lifelong home packed and cluttered

- have 4 cars and one driver

- make vague plans to sell my house but quit all meaningful activities in order to spend a full year decluttering so I can better ready my house for a future sale

- refuse long term care insurance and instead earmark a significant percentage of my modest life savings for “in home care” and hope this cover my/my spouse’s future needs

- continue to buy, collect, shop en masse quantities to include Costco runs (for 2)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I’m NOT going to do (courtesy of my late parents AND elderly ILs):

- proclaim that I love my house so much that I’ll never, ever leave - ever

- keep every closet, a two car garage and an unfinished basement of my nearly lifelong home packed and cluttered

- have 4 cars and one driver

- make vague plans to sell my house but quit all meaningful activities in order to spend a full year decluttering so I can better ready my house for a future sale

- refuse long term care insurance and instead earmark a significant percentage of my modest life savings for “in home care” and hope this cover my/my spouse’s future needs

- continue to buy, collect, shop en masse quantities to include Costco runs (for 2)

How many people on here have had a good experience with long-term care insurance kicking in as needed? Based on my little research and anecdotal evidence, many of us are betting on self-funding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm hoping to downsize when the kid goes off to college. I'll be 55. I don't want to do yard work forever and my older house needs a lot of work I don't want to do. Easier just to cash out.

Same. Can’t wait to say goodbye to my suburban house and get an easy condo in a great location.

I will not keep a big house in hopes my kids come visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wouldn't downsize until your kids have large homes that they can use for holidays. My parents have 3 spare bedrooms upstairs still (from when my siblings and I lived there) and it's SO nice to visit them. My kids can have their own rooms, there's 2 bathrooms just for my family to use and it's quiet up there. We pile in like sardines at my inlaws and kids get cranky after 2 nights of that.

Or if you do downsize, be okay with people not visiting you. One of my grandparents downsized and it's very hard to visit her. She's had numerous surgeries and there isn't a spare bedroom for her kids to stay with her.


We downsized to a 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Living the life we want. Kid 1 is 2K miles away and happy. Kid 2 will likely be 2-3K miles away. But could end up in our area. If they do we will help them with rent for the first few years (VHCOL). We rent the guest suite at the condo bldg when wveryone is home. Or a hotel room 1 block away. Sometimes we rent a whole house somewhere to gather for the holidays. Much easier to rent a big home for 7-10 days than maintain that extra space in a place we own, when we only need it for 2-3 weeks/year.

This. My parents and my in-laws eventually got to the point where hosting was too exhausting (cooking, cleaning, putting up a tree, etc.). So they went this route and we either stayed in the guest suite or a hotel (which my parents paid for). We were walking distance to grocery stores and restaurants. It was a much better experience for everyone TBH.

Yes—we pay for the vacation rental or the hotel/guest suite for our kids/family. It’s more fun to be in the city and we have plenty of room to entertain in our condo for up to 8-10 people, just need a place for them to sleep.

Once grandkids come, we will visit them for holidays or rent a house somewhere so we are all together. But with adults, the hotel room for night is great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

It's not very young whatsoever. I don't know why you think it's a flex to be a 60-year old with a teenager, and yeah it's a lot worse having kids in your 50s.

You are listing a bunch of celebrities that I am sure you know are outsourcing nearly every facet of raising a kid, right? They have a FT nanny and housekeeper and lots of $$$s.

So, the moral of your story is to first get very rich (and probably famous)...and then just keep popping them out because it's not like you will be changing any diapers.

Agree with earlier PP. 35-40 is young to stop having kids. I had my second at 37. Most people I know are still having kids into their early 40s. I know one person with surprise twins at 45.

I won't have kids in college until my mid-50s. I don't suspect grandparenting will even begin before age 65. I think 70 is more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

It's not very young whatsoever. I don't know why you think it's a flex to be a 60-year old with a teenager, and yeah it's a lot worse having kids in your 50s.

You are listing a bunch of celebrities that I am sure you know are outsourcing nearly every facet of raising a kid, right? They have a FT nanny and housekeeper and lots of $$$s.

So, the moral of your story is to first get very rich (and probably famous)...and then just keep popping them out because it's not like you will be changing any diapers.

And all of the people you listed also had kids in their 20s and 30s. They all have 4+ children and their children have different moms. This can’t be a serious post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

It's not very young whatsoever. I don't know why you think it's a flex to be a 60-year old with a teenager, and yeah it's a lot worse having kids in your 50s.

You are listing a bunch of celebrities that I am sure you know are outsourcing nearly every facet of raising a kid, right? They have a FT nanny and housekeeper and lots of $$$s.

So, the moral of your story is to first get very rich (and probably famous)...and then just keep popping them out because it's not like you will be changing any diapers.

Agree with earlier PP. 35-40 is young to stop having kids. I had my second at 37. Most people I know are still having kids into their early 40s. I know one person with surprise twins at 45.

I won't have kids in college until my mid-50s. I don't suspect grandparenting will even begin before age 65. I think 70 is more likely.

The ones I know regret it and will tell their kids to start earlier and the twins are usually IVF babies which nobody thinks was a pleasant surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what I’m NOT going to do (courtesy of my late parents AND elderly ILs):

- proclaim that I love my house so much that I’ll never, ever leave - ever

- keep every closet, a two car garage and an unfinished basement of my nearly lifelong home packed and cluttered

- have 4 cars and one driver

- make vague plans to sell my house but quit all meaningful activities in order to spend a full year decluttering so I can better ready my house for a future sale

- refuse long term care insurance and instead earmark a significant percentage of my modest life savings for “in home care” and hope this cover my/my spouse’s future needs

- continue to buy, collect, shop en masse quantities to include Costco runs (for 2)

How many people on here have had a good experience with long-term care insurance kicking in as needed? Based on my little research and anecdotal evidence, many of us are betting on self-funding.

Don't buy it. Market will go insolvent in the next few decades from people buying LTC Insurance after receiving APOE4 carrier status results from 23&Me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

“My body”?!?! Yes it’s choices. Had first at 30 and 2nd at 34. Obviously if you haven’t found a life partner you cannot do that. But once again that is about choices—-had I married later, I still doubt I’d have wanted a kid at 40. But not that difficult to be married and able to have a kid at 30/32.
Just like I chose not to have a kid at 22, you can choose not to have a kid at 40+

DP. I think pp was referring to people have fertility issues when they mentioned your "body." Some people are unable to have children as easily as you did ar 30/32.

Well it won't get any easier if you wait until 37+. And if you couldn't get pregnant at 30/31, I certainly wouldn't spend 5+ years attempting IVF or other methods.

Personally, I would have stopped trying after 6 months and gone the route of adoption from India/Korea (to have an infant). I wouldn't have spent time and money and stress on my body to have a baby because it needs to be my genetic material.

Well that's you, honey. Do you understand that other people have different thoughts than you do? That your beliefs are not universal?

I'm glad i didn't stop and instead persisted. My kids are glad I persisted, too.

p.s. only someone who has never tried to adopt would be so cavalier about it and say "well I'd just adopt." Naivete at its worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

“My body”?!?! Yes it’s choices. Had first at 30 and 2nd at 34. Obviously if you haven’t found a life partner you cannot do that. But once again that is about choices—-had I married later, I still doubt I’d have wanted a kid at 40. But not that difficult to be married and able to have a kid at 30/32.
Just like I chose not to have a kid at 22, you can choose not to have a kid at 40+

Why would I have wanted to choose not to have a kid at 40 just because someone like you thinks it's terrible to have kids still in college when you are 60? What a bizarre thing to say. I'm glad not to be an empty nester at age 55. I love having my kids around and am glad they aren't yet gone. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

More power to you. We will absolutely be retiring at 55. Maybe sooner. We had our second and final child at 31.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

More power to you. We will absolutely be retiring at 55. Maybe sooner. We had our second and final child at 31.

No kid relate - but I busted my butt to get my first big job at 44. Why the heck would I throw it all away at 55 to sit home all day in a tiny shoebox when I downsize watching soap operas and reality TV waiting to die.

Instead I got a bigger job at 55. Was pretty exciting working on a two billion dollar project at a start up and seeing it through launch. So much that when it ended I did a second start up at 58. Finally at 61 my start up life ended and I decided I wanted to do something political in DC on the Hill. Which I am doing, exciting energy working on Capital Hill

My career was and is most exciting post 55.

I also bought a huge trade up home at 55 moving from 1,600 sf to 6,100 sf.

I am thinking maybe 63 I could try CEO or run for office.

Then I was thinking around 67 join a few boards.

Why be in a rush to die. I heard that retired men die with 5-7 years regardless of year you retire. Men who retire younger just die younger.

All the old men on my block work at least part time. My neighbor a psychologist works part time and had people over for Super Bowl at his 7,000 sf house and he is 90. Was he supposed to downsize and retire 35 years ago?

My last kid won’t be out till I am 70. I am not packing up a 6,100 sf house just to make some child brides happy. Until kids are married with kids thanksgiving, Xmas, graduations, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day all at my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

It's not very young whatsoever. I don't know why you think it's a flex to be a 60-year old with a teenager, and yeah it's a lot worse having kids in your 50s.

You are listing a bunch of celebrities that I am sure you know are outsourcing nearly every facet of raising a kid, right? They have a FT nanny and housekeeper and lots of $$$s.

So, the moral of your story is to first get very rich (and probably famous)...and then just keep popping them out because it's not like you will be changing any diapers.

Agree with earlier PP. 35-40 is young to stop having kids. I had my second at 37. Most people I know are still having kids into their early 40s. I know one person with surprise twins at 45.

I won't have kids in college until my mid-50s. I don't suspect grandparenting will even begin before age 65. I think 70 is more likely.

The ones I know regret it and will tell their kids to start earlier and the twins are usually IVF babies which nobody thinks was a pleasant surprise.

My kids in my 30s were not planned. I was not planning them at all so I certainly would not have wanted them younger!!

My friend was one and done and shocked with twins at 45. She thought she was in menopause for missing a period. She was pregnant.

My great grandma had her last whoops baby at age 42 in the 1930s.

Most of my friends had their first kids ages 40-45. I had my first at 34 and was the youngest. Second surprise at 37.

Also, I don’t care about grandchildren. Irrelevant. Still telling my kids not to have kids until at least 30 at the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is more of a finance question than a real estate or midlife one, so posting here.
What are you doing with your real estate options when you get to say 55, or when you are empty nesters? Are you downsizing? Moving to a TH? Aging in place? Keeping a larger home for family gatherings, grandkids? What’s your plan?

Is this post from 1975? Empty Nestor at 55 ready to retire?

That was back when my Uncles were cops and Firemen married HS sweethearts young and by 55 a full pension and kids long gone. Kids just went an inexpensive local college.

Today men and women are having kids much later. Their kids are having kids much later and college costs are insane.

When I was 55 I had a 16, 14 and 10 year old at home.

Hence the issue downsizing no longer works

My youngest graduates college when I am 67 and then wants to move home for grad school.

Then until they are married with kids I am still hosting holidays.

I thought I was an old parent but tons and tons parents my age at school.

My friend is 61 with a 13, 11 and 6 year old at home. Had last kid he was 55, wife 45.

55 year olds are still having kids and 25-30 years from retirement.

There are also plenty of people that age who become empty nesters, retire, and downsize.

Yup! Did have kid until almost 30, was done by 35, by 52 last kid was off to college.
Sold big family home and moved into our 2 bed/2bath condo in the city. Won't retire until kid is done with college but we could if we really wanted to, the money is ready and waiting

DOn't know about most people, but I don't want to be over 60 and still have kids on my payroll/supporting my kids because they are not yet out of college. So we chose not to have a kid at 40+

Also your body and your circumstances allowed you to “choose” that path. What a smug response that indicates lack of awareness of the realities of other people’s lives.

DP here - I think it was more of a response to the poster calling us child brides for having a baby at 30.

You are a child bride. When did you marry?

I would hate for my daughters to waste their youth getting knocked up and being a servant to some bum in exchange for when they are 55 can be an empty Nestor. You can’t be 25 at 55.

To be honest if I was a widower at 70 and met a hot 42 year who wanted a kid I have another.

Didn't waste my youth. Got married at 22, first kid at 30, fully lived life before kids, once kids arrived and now really enjoying empty nesting in my early 50s. But have friends who had kids at 22, done by 24 and living life fully in their 40s without kids around. Either way, you do what works for you.


Also, my son or daughter are allowed to select what to do in life themselves.

+1. There are so many insecure people on DCUM. I would never attack someone for having a child at an age they deemed appropriate for them. I find that on DCUM women who had children at older ages seem to need to attack women who had children at younger ages. I never see this flipped unless someone is responding to a rude comment. Everything doesn't need to be endlessly picked over and compared and analyzed. We are all doing our best and because we are different people in different circumstances with different resources our best and how we even determine what our best is will be different but no one should feel superior or inferior to anyone based on the timing of when they had children.

Yes, you do what works for you. There are advantages to every scenario. I know people who had kids at 20/21. That is likely the "least attractive" solution to me. It typically means the woman quit college to raise the kid. Sometimes it means the guy did as well to have a job to support the family. The perks are that by time you are 40/42, your kids are out of the house and you are still able to travel and do so much. But the issue is, typically with that path, you struggled to get started and likely don't make as much as you would if you waited until 28-30 to have first kid.

28-30 for first kid is the "sweet spot" IMO. You can be done having them by 34/35 and empty nesters by 55. You were able to start your career (unless doctor or lawyer) and be well established, thus allowing you to stay at home for a bit, work PT, etc. With careers well established, you can afford to live a better life than someone at 22 having a kid and still retire/be empty nesters while still able to really enjoy life/be healthy.

35-40 for having kids, works just fine, but fact is you run risk of higher possibility for health issues with mom/baby. You will be 60 or so possibly older when your last kid exits the house after college. So you might need to work until 62/65 just because you have kids still under your care. At 65+ you might not be able to travel and do same things as if you were empty nesters at 55.

Pick whatever works for you. Life is too short to worry about others

35-40 is very very young to stop having kids. I had my last kid at 45. I am still a very very young Dad next to my friends having kids in their 50s.
Billy Joel has a six year old
Rod Stewart has a kid at 78
Al Pacino had a kid at 83

Steve Martin had his first kid at 67

Naomi Campbell naturally had a baby at 53 and Hillary Swank had a kid at 48. Brigitte Nielsen at 54

And retirement no longer exists. I heard yesterday the oldest muscian still performing started his band as a teen in the 1930s, He is 100 and still doing shows.

Sure multimillionaires have kids into their 70s. Normal people do not.

You will be 67 when your last kid finished college (if in a 4 year plan).

I plan to be 56when my last finishes. We can retire knowing kids are independent at 56/57. While you spend those next 10 years being a taxi for HS events and working to keep good insurance and pay for college, we will be retired and traveling the world