How would you stand up to an elderly parent who only calls you when they need something from you?

[Anonymous]

And never thanks you.

[Anonymous]

Call them out on it. Ignore their calls. Tell them no

[Anonymous]

Do you need to "stand up" to them? What does that mean?

I think you need to stop worrying about being thanked. But you are also free to decide whether something is a need or a want and proceed accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

[Anonymous]

I'm unsure what you mean by "stand up" to them. Do you feel bullied? How often do you call your parent?

Just say no if you don't want to give them what they are asking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

Only a complete idiot would compare the two

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

Children have no idea of the kinds of sacrifices their parents are making because they've never experienced making such sacrifices themselves. Elderly parents, on the other hand, have experienced what it's like to have to sacrifice for family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

^This. Basic b*!ch behavior to expect that this train only runs in one direction. What, you have no obligation to your parents?
Who told you to do this? Some girlfriend over your third mimosa? Yet another so-called therapist? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

How often do you reach out to your parent? Do you call just to check in?

I learned that my mom wasn't calling because when she did I was always busy and she felt she was imposing. So she stopped calling until something was going haywire, and she couldn't fix it herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

That's all in the past. This post is about the present, which is what matters.

[Anonymous]

If you think they're truly being unkind, call them out on it. They may or may not change.

My parents were this way with me. In our case, there's a cultural component. My parents are 1st gen immigrants from East Asia where parents don't usually say thank you or sorry to their children. They did do a lot for my sibling and I, and we felt that we owed them our help and time in their old age. As they aged they found many things challenging and needed more help each year. Sometimes I bristled at the lack of polite exchanges when they got right into asking for help with something upon my arrival to visit. But in the grand scheme of things, I hadn't done nearly as much for them as they had for me.

[Anonymous]

My 70 yo mom, I do what I can in a manner that does not bother me.

My 90 yo mom I treat like an infant and do everything without needing thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

That's all in the past. This post is about the present, which is what matters.

What a selfish and self-centered way of looking at relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember those years you only cried or called when you needed them? And rarely said thanks?

That's all in the past. This post is about the present, which is what matters.

And one day you will be old, with your skill set running backwards. Remember your words now. Life isn’t as simple as it seems. Where we start is often where we end. The circle of life is not just irony.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you call them regularly? They might not want to bother you unless there’s something going on.