is it me, or are there fewer au pairs available this fall without psychological issues?

[Anonymous]

I have hosted au pairs for many years -- and have noticed, in looking for this fall, that there are only a handful of available "quality" profiles without major psychological issues? I was wondering if anyone else is having same experience? (Granted, I am looking in a subgroup of European au pairs for language exposure for children....) Also, in looking at the few candidates, I noticed a lot have disclosed underlying psychological issues in their profiles -- more than in the past -- I guess there is a rise in mental health issues with young people? I am very reluctant to take on another person in the house, along with my three older children, who may have psychological issues.......... but have found few profiles in my search without....is this just the way it is right now??

[Anonymous]

What kind of psychological issues?

[Anonymous]

Young people are increasingly open to identifying certain traits or thought patterns as mental health conditions, and increasingly willing/eager to disclose those conditions. Whether there is actual increased prevalence of mental health conditions is unclear....but the pandemic and other events did a number on young people, so maybe? Whether someone who discloses a mental health condition could be a good au pair is probably dependent on their specific situation and your temperament/needs.

[Anonymous]

Disclosing it shows a lack of judgement and that lack of judgement will likely affect their judgement with your kids.

Who isn’t depressed these days? But you don’t disclose it on a job application.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Disclosing it shows a lack of judgement and that lack of judgement will likely affect their judgement with your kids.

Who isn’t depressed these days? But you don’t disclose it on a job application.

This.

Wonder if is just the times or if the agencies are having trouble recruiting/screening?

[Anonymous]

The three kids and pay are probably the issue and hours.

[Anonymous]

OP here - the kinds of issues that have been cited are:

- seeking therapy for bad breakup with boyfriend (several profiles)

- anger management/ staying angry only a few minutes then calming down

- anxiety and anger - being up at 3 a.m. with worry

- seeking therapy for not being able to focus at school and complete basic tasks

- random disassociation /fainting spells and unknown sources with brain scans -- etc. (sounds like a panic attack to me??)

etc etc....

I don't mean to be heartless, I see there is a ton of mental health reported in the news.... It's just that I've been reading au pair profiles for a long time (two of my older children are much older, I have a 10 year age gap with youngest) and these types of things weren't reported in the past....

I appreciate the honesty, but like a PP posted, I would not put this on my job profile..... but, again, I am not sure if this is a trend of the baseline of disclosure and/or underlying conditions....or if fewer people are applying and I am only seeing these profiles???

I am just sharing this observation, wondering if others have noticed too? and no I am not interviewing these folks as I don't want to have to become the therapist to an au pair......

[Anonymous]

This is how young people are now. Very open about personal struggles, not always aware that everyone experiences them.

[Anonymous]

These are typical issues young people have. Now it's been pathologized.

[Anonymous]

Anger issues and dissociation are not qualities most would seek in a caregiver. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Are the agencies doing no screening? Staying angry for several minutes then calming down is going to escalate when taking care of young kids and the stress from being far from family and friends and culture.

[Anonymous]

OP here -I wonder if the agencies just don't have enough candidates, if they truly screened for mental health? (Like, is "disclosure" enough to meet the au pair agency burden of screening candidate - just merely identifying potential issues for family, rather than agency, to decide?)

I am preferring that they disclose, rather than not disclose, but still.... I would like to see more candidates without these "issues" (or those who don't see everyday issues that everyone experiences as pathological, like a PP said).

Feels like these are red flag items.

[Anonymous]

Have you not seen these threads where everyone has their kid drugged for adhd?

[Anonymous]

I absolutely noticed this uptick too. I think it is because of two things. 1) most EU countries have better health care and easier access to therapists, so young people are going more. And 2) the au pair agencies are asking them “have you ever been to a therapist” and they think they have to be honest, so they say yes. It’s not like a job application where you can hide stuff about yourself. Our current au pair went to the school therapist after her parents divorced and she said everyone she knew had gone to the school therapist at some point and they thought they had to list that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I wonder if the agencies just don't have enough candidates, if they truly screened for mental health? (Like, is "disclosure" enough to meet the au pair agency burden of screening candidate - just merely identifying potential issues for family, rather than agency, to decide?)

I am preferring that they disclose, rather than not disclose, but still.... I would like to see more candidates without these "issues" (or those who don't see everyday issues that everyone experiences as pathological, like a PP said).

Feels like these are red flag items.

I think most of the stuff on the list you describe is pretty typical things for people in this age bracket to have a hard time managing. That age group is also a lot more comfortable identifying these as mental health issues than previous generations have been and increasingly willing to seek support in dealing with them. I also would not consider a person who went to therapy to process a bad breakup with someone other than their friends to be a person who has "psychological issues" and think there might be a disconnect in what they are considering "mental health problems that would prevent a person from being an au pair" and the stuff on your list.

Put a slightly different way - a lot of the kids of people who post on this forum probably meet at least a couple of those criteria, and they are probably still kids you would generally consider responsible enough to babysit. That can be true here, if you are evaluating things on the merits.

I hear you about not wanting to be the therapist. In the case where an au pair needs to be in therapy, that should be identified as a medical need they have that must be met the same as any other medical need. I say that as an actual therapist.