Lumping Single Parenting, Adoption and Gay and Lesbian Parenting Into One Category? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I have no interest in two of these three formerly separate categories.
Why the change?
Can we go back?
This is a mosh pit of interests and concerns!

[Anonymous]

Agreed, even though I'm 2 out of 3. Go back!

[Anonymous]

I would also strongly prefer to keep them separate if at all possible. Very separate issues.

[Anonymous]

I don't really care. there wasn't much going on in the single mom forum so maybe there'll be some more interesting posts now?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I care. My sense is these three are pretty quiet, but so is the stand alone College forum and others. I have ZERO interest in two, and will be less inclined to post in mixed company. I feel like I've lost a community, a place where I could go and relate to others in my situation. That is gone. I'm really pretty crestfallen about this! It's like having a support group with cancer survivors, transplant patients and amputees all in one. VERY DIFFERENT!

At the very least, I hope Jeff will drop the word "arrangement" from the title of this forum. It's parenting. We don't need the word arrangement!

[Anonymous]

Three separate and distinct issues. I do not see the commonality in the three subgroups. And furthermore, adopting a child is not non-traditional parenting. I adopted my child instead of going the route of producing a mini-me. That does not mean however that I parent my child differently than how I would have parented had I not come about parenthood the old fashion way. In that case, TTC should be lumped into non-traditional parenting.

[Anonymous]

This is a really horrible idea. Moreover, I don't think of any of these families/situations as "alternative." We're all just families - period. Each group has its own unique set of issues, even if some of them overlap in certain families. Please un-do this and restore the separate forums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a really horrible idea. Moreover, I don't think of any of these families/situations as "alternative." We're all just families - period. Each group has its own unique set of issues, even if some of them overlap in certain families. Please un-do this and restore the separate forums.

Excuse me, I meant to say "non-traditional" rather than alternative. But my sentiments remain the same.

[Anonymous]

Maybe these topics should just all be under General Parenting?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Three separate and distinct issues. I do not see the commonality in the three subgroups. And furthermore, adopting a child is not non-traditional parenting. I adopted my child instead of going the route of producing a mini-me. That does not mean however that I parent my child differently than how I would have parented had I not come about parenthood the old fashion way. In that case, TTC should be lumped into non-traditional parenting.

I'm sorry that some of you are not happy with the consolidation of the three forums. However, the layout of our forums does not lend itself to a large number of separate groups. I am basically unable to add new forums that I believe would be popular because of the large number we already have. The three forums that I consolidated were all low traffic. I allowed a significant amount of time for the groups to build participation, but it simply did not come about. The choice I faced was not between consolidating and not consolidating. It was between consolidating or eliminating.

If you feel, like the parent above, that you parent your child no differently than anyone else, then the appropriate place for your post is General Parenting. That would be perfectly understandable.

I really struggled to find an appropriate name for this forum. I am not clear on the objection to the word "arrangement", but I will be happy to remove it.

[Anonymous]

Jeff,
I'm not following the need to lump these three groups together. You just split the relationship forum to two, explicit and nonexplicit, you've got NINE forums devoted to nannies, hardly anyone uses the college forum, and you lump three distinct groups into one?
Our children are all the same but our circumstances are very different. We are marginalized enough -- even in subtle ways -- as single moms, lesbian moms, adoptive moms. Thanks for marginalizing us on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Jeff - I do not fall into any of these categories so I don't post in any of them, but I agree that the emphasis on Nannies vs other issues seems kind of excessive. What fraction of parents use nannies? It's small, I know, since it's an expensive option.

[jsteele]

Comparing these three groups to the nanny forums is not a very good comparison. These forums started out solely as a place to find a nanny. Were it not for those forums, none of the rest of this would exist. The nanny forums still attract more new users to DCUM than any other factor.

The college forum is still pretty new. If it fails to gain traction, it will be gone as well.

Splitting the Sex and Relationships forum is an experiment to see how it works. It was a suggestion by users. So far today, it looks like it's performing above my expectations.

There was an over month-long discussion of this reorganization here:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/114368.page

None of these decisions were made lightly.

[Anonymous]

Where was this discussion? I missed it entirely or I would have chimed in. Too bad you didn't start threads in the forums that would be most affected. Hasn't that been done in the past?

I agree with the explicit/unexplicit split. Nannies, it's not a comparison, the point, which I didn't convey, is that perhaps you would get the same amount of traffic if you consolidated those?

Is this all about numbers or about community? I've lost a community through this consolidation. I won't be coming to DCUM as much. It's not a protest, it's just lost value.

[Anonymous]

Not so sure single parenting is "non-traditional" anymore in the sense that it would be uncommon. It's pretty common these days.