Recommendations for weekend activities/sports in NWDC for a clever, spirited 3yo with emotional regulation issues
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Anonymous
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My sweet, clever, spirited 3.5 yo only child has been struggling with emotional regulation and was recently placed on an IEP by DC Early Stages. He’s intellectually advanced for his age (enjoys being read chapter books, plays games and puzzles designed for 5+ yos, exceptional verbal and gross/fine moral control abilities), but pretty far behind on emotional regulation, getting easily frustrated/overloaded and regularly throwing horrible tantrums lasting 30-60 minutes. No diagnosis yet, but he shows some of the hallmarks of ADHD.
We’ve got him in weekly occupational therapy (OT) and are working on getting him into a daycare that will better support his needs. But additionally and in the meantime, we’re looking for structured activities to do on the weekend to keep his brain occupied and help him burn off energy. His emotional dysregulation stems, at least in part, from sensory issues. We’ve had him in swim lessons for the last few months, which he seems to enjoy a lot (apparently water can be regulating for kids with these types of issues) but those are about to end. His OT thinks he seeks vestibular inputs, in particular, so it’s important to keep his body engaged as well as his brain. We’d like to find him other activities that will be good for a kid with his needs. I’ve read that music, ballet/dance, and martial arts can be good for engaging the brain while also practicing emotional/body control. Maybe something like soccer would be fun too; he likes kicking ball at targets. His mother and I are not artistic/sporty people at all and don’t know much about those worlds, and we aren’t looking to train this kid to be an Olympian athlete or a musical virtuoso. (Zero interest in driving out 45+ minutes for the very best Suzuki method teachers or whatever.) We’re really looking for local activities/classes with patient teachers who can engage our kid’s brain while meeting him where he’s at emotionally, and ideally help give him some tools to regulate better. I welcome recommendations and ideas for activities/classes I may not have considered, particularly from parents who have had “spirited” toddlers and found things that help them with regulation. Thanks in advance! |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry. Ive bene there with my son who’s now 5.5. Pre medication age is very difficult. Your best bet is modifying his environment or getting significant support in mainstream environments until he’s old enough to get an adhd diagnosis and start meds.
Soccer was ok for my son. But he couldn’t focus on any non preferred activity for more than a few minutes and ended up sitting on the sidelines a lot watching his friends. Swim lessons were also hard for my son because of the focus issues. He likes skiing and ice skating - both are very stimulating and require vigilance. Things you can do more 1:1 are good bets. My son is now 5.5, in prek and is doing OT and a social/emotional skills class. Meds and maturity help a bit. |
Anonymous
| Silver stars gymnastics in Silver Spring is perfect. It’s more ninja warrior type stuff than, say, cartwheels and would be great for a boy that age. Pretty freewheeling, especially compared to ballet class. |
Anonymous
| Please for the love of your child don’t label him until you’ve had an evaluation. |
Anonymous
| I just took my adhd dx at 4 really son to cabin john park for hours and hours a day and let him run with the bigger kids —literally. Bought him a bike at this age and he was riding without training wells by 4. We lived on a dead end and he would ride and ride for hours. Never tired. Would stay out pedaling away o to the dark if allowed. Later we put him in swim. |
Anonymous
| You would get much more improvement using that money on a structured EIBI program that identify and address the underlying issues. Not dealing with this correctly now will only make it worse. No activity is going to result in fewer tantrums, that’s just not how it works. You can still do the activities, but expecting that to result in some magical disappearance of tantrums isn’t doing him any favors. |
Anonymous
Sorry for the hard truth, I’m too tired for sugar coating. |
Anonymous
And PLEASE avoid calling him "spirited". Does it need to be an organized activity? What can you do with him as parents? |
Anonymous
Is EIBI appropriate for kids who aren’t ASD but possibly ADHD? This is my first (and probably only) kid and I’m very new to this world. He’s been looked at by his pediatrician, a behavioral therapist, a child psychologist, and OT, and none of them have observed signs or recommended him for further observation/diagnosis for ASD, or other disorders for that matter. They’ve indicated he might have ADHD, but have all stressed that he only shows a few of the signs and it’s too soon to tell at his age.
It doesn’t need to be an organized activity, but he seems to respond well to organized activities. We’ve been taking him to swim classes for the last few months and he really enjoys all the exercises and challenges the instructors come up with. We do a fair amount of physical stuff with him on our own (playground, balance bike rides on the trail, obstacle courses in the back yard, etc.). But to be honest, we’re not sporty people and it’s helpful for us to be in these classes, too, to get ideas for other things to do that he likes. The swim classes have been great for giving us things to do at the pool, for instance. |
Anonymous
| If Rockville isn't too far look at the agility center |
Anonymous
Most kids I work with at that age often don’t have a diagnosis or have a suspected diagnosis but you can’t pinpoint it so it really doesn’t matter from a service delivery aspect. At that age EIBI focuses on parent training, decreasing difficult behavior, and skill development. Skills covered can include things like language expansion, motor skills, self-help, social skills, visual performance, listening, attending, eating, safety skills, turn taking, transitions, pre-academic, sleeping, toileting, really anything developmental that needs to be focused on. ABLLS-R or VB-MAPP are commonly used developmental assessments. I think it’s most useful in the younger years because 1) attending, social interaction, transitioning, etc are important for kindergarten and general learning. If those are well established early it will make transition to school easier 2) it helps create good habits and routines for caregivers 3) it helps caregivers all be on the same page, increases consistency, you have someone to help you work through concerns 4) where problem behaviors are concerned it’s easier to minimize or eliminate them at a young age because there isn’t as long of a learning history 5) you have more control over the environment and what you’re teaching 6) every child needs certain foundational skills, if those are missing life will get more challenging later on. Given that he’s so “spirited” I’d at least get a developmental and behavioral assessment and see what the BCBA recommends. You can ask about a combination of home/community services to help with activities if those times are challenging. |
Anonymous
| He sounds like the kind of kid I love working with. |
Anonymous
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Its not fair to him, the other kids, or the instructor to put him into group classes at this point.
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Anonymous
| Can you do more swim lessons since those seem to go well? Any kind of intense exercise is good for ADHD if that's what this ends up being. |
Anonymous
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I think you should sign up for more swim classes -- seems like you all like those!
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