If I show up at an event on my ex’s parenting time

[Anonymous]

When my ex isn’t there, something like a Halloween party at school, or a school soccer game or band concert. Is that a potential legal problem?

We have ROFR but school is excluded from that. I would show up and cheer or whatever is appropriate, and leave without taking the child.

Our agreement doesn’t address this and I would have no problems if ex did the same.

[Anonymous]

There shouldn’t be a legal problem unless you have a protective order in place that says no contact.
You should both be able to act like adults and support your child at games and events if you want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn’t be a legal problem unless you have a protective order in place that says no contact.
You should both be able to act like adults and support your child at games and events if you want to.

Nothing like a protective order, no allegations of abuse by either parent. Just a co-parent who would object out of spite.

[Anonymous]

Object to what? Having to see your face? Too bad. Nothing would stop me from going to games, events, parties, like any normal parent can do.

[Anonymous]

Huh? You can go even if they are there. My ex and I regularly go to the same events no matter whose 'time' it is.

[Anonymous]

Oh please let them object so you can tell the judge how the other parent isn't parenting during their parenting time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please let them object so you can tell the judge how the other parent isn't parenting during their parenting time.

OP here,

I don’t think you need to make it to every single game to be “parenting” but sometimes there happen to be games that I could make and my ex couldn’t because we work different hours. I would not go if ex was there.

[Anonymous]

You should absolutely go! How sad for kid to have no parent at his game or concert because the adults in his life can’t work this out. Honestly you should be able to go even if the ex is there — just sit on the other side of the bleachers.

[Anonymous]

Mommy only shows up if daddy isn’t there, how sad for them.

Go whenever you want, because you want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should absolutely go! How sad for kid to have no parent at his game or concert because the adults in his life can’t work this out. Honestly you should be able to go even if the ex is there — just sit on the other side of the bleachers.

+1 as long as any tension doesn’t stress out the kid

[Anonymous]

I would check your order. I bet there is a provision in there that permits participation in school-related activities.

[Anonymous]

^Edit: For example, VA has this codified by statute: https://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title22.1/chapter1/section22.1-4.3/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please let them object so you can tell the judge how the other parent isn't parenting during their parenting time.

OP here,

I don’t think you need to make it to every single game to be “parenting” but sometimes there happen to be games that I could make and my ex couldn’t because we work different hours. I would not go if ex was there.

OP, you should both be able to go. You don't have to sit together. DP, one above sounds psycho.

[Anonymous]

My ex used to do this all the time with my son’s after school inter-mural games. I had a rigid schedule and commute that prevented me from getting there, but my ex had a more flexible schedule, so he would go and offer to take my son for ice cream after, leaving me to be the bad guy who misses the game but arrives in time to say “no ice cream, we need to get home for homework.”

Just another AH move from an all around AH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex used to do this all the time with my son’s after school inter-mural games. I had a rigid schedule and commute that prevented me from getting there, but my ex had a more flexible schedule, so he would go and offer to take my son for ice cream after, leaving me to be the bad guy who misses the game but arrives in time to say “no ice cream, we need to get home for homework.”

Just another AH move from an all around AH.

Without the ice cream would you have objected?