The Program" Cons, Cults and Kidnapping

[Anonymous]

Wow, just watched this documentary. Holy cow and kudos to this young woman who went from victim to a film maker who exposed a corrupt "troubled teen help" industry.

https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/the-program-cons-cults-kidnapping-release-date-trailer-news

It's moving, scary, outrageous, sad and has moments of beauty.

[Anonymous]

And crazy one of the girls is local from Arlington!

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

I suggest you watch before placing unnecessary judgement.

[Anonymous]

For one thing, a parent can do proper research on a facility before hiring people to kidnap their kid and transport them 600 miles or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

These kids were not all that wild and the schools manipulated the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

These kids were not all that wild and the schools manipulated the parents.

I have watched 3 episodes. I think the kids portray themselves as being in the best light. Once they are parents themselves, they will have a better understanding of how their behavior really was. So I take with a grain of salt the young woman who keeps saying "I just had a a mike's hard lemonade". I mean it's pretty clear that is the time she got caught not the only time she did it. The poor girl clearly need help and her dad and step mom made the mistake of not getting her therapy and family therapy. She was irrationally angry at her step mother for taking her mother's place which is a valid feeling for a kid but no one helped her process that. She still needs help processing all that happened and also she is at the age when she can reflect on her own behavior and comes to turn with the fact that she contributed to her situation. Not responsible for the situation but certainly a contributor.

The school was terrible and parents were manipulated by the marketing for sure. It's hard to understand that parents didn't at least push for a tour of all the areas and ask for an observation and to understand the rules. And yet also as a parent, I have know the relief that can come with the feelings of just getting peace at home and finally things are normal and not wanting to upset that so you just believe it is all going ok and they are going to fix it. I think it is good that these documentaries come out even if they are super well done or produced. Parents need to understand and ask questions before using programs and schools that promise they help with behavior.

The school clearly attracted a certain kind of staff. I would bet that some were the kind who were bullied in school by kids and for a moment this gave them the chance to "get back" as irrational as that is. Looking up the adults now and asking why they did it is to me pointless. If you reach out and the person says yeah I feel terrible let's talk that is one thing. Again, these are all young people involved and they don't have enough life experience to know that these adults just did a job and moved on and there was just too much going on for them to spend lots of time on thinking of old jobs. The guy they talked to from marketing was at least willing to say he too was manipulated and he did point out to the school that there wasn't anything worthwhile at the school.

[Anonymous]

My brother went to a place like this and was traumatized by it. I think they are truly quite evil places because, to other's points, he was in fact entirely out of control. One of my parents had died, the other was completely checked out and he was completely out of control. I thought he was going to die. Driving recklessly, doing crazy dangerous things, punching holes in the walls, getting physical. He was a damaged and emotionally vulnerable teenage boy who we literally could not protect ourselves from let alone him from himself.

He is still to this day livid we did that to him, and I certainly have a lot of mixed feelings about it because he was not helped by that place, it hurt him more. But these places are so insidious because they are preying on families like mine, where the family is totally desperate and feel like they have no other options.

[Anonymous]

Parents who do this are at their whits end.

Most not all are looking to help their child and sometimes the exhaustion from dealing with these issues for a long time clouds their thoughts when vetting these horrible places.

I am not saying the parents are perfect but some empathy for the situation they are going through might be needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

These kids were not all that wild and the schools manipulated the parents.

I have watched 3 episodes. I think the kids portray themselves as being in the best light. Once they are parents themselves, they will have a better understanding of how their behavior really was. So I take with a grain of salt the young woman who keeps saying "I just had a a mike's hard lemonade". I mean it's pretty clear that is the time she got caught not the only time she did it. The poor girl clearly need help and her dad and step mom made the mistake of not getting her therapy and family therapy. She was irrationally angry at her step mother for taking her mother's place which is a valid feeling for a kid but no one helped her process that. She still needs help processing all that happened and also she is at the age when she can reflect on her own behavior and comes to turn with the fact that she contributed to her situation. Not responsible for the situation but certainly a contributor.

The school was terrible and parents were manipulated by the marketing for sure. It's hard to understand that parents didn't at least push for a tour of all the areas and ask for an observation and to understand the rules. And yet also as a parent, I have know the relief that can come with the feelings of just getting peace at home and finally things are normal and not wanting to upset that so you just believe it is all going ok and they are going to fix it. I think it is good that these documentaries come out even if they are super well done or produced. Parents need to understand and ask questions before using programs and schools that promise they help with behavior.

The school clearly attracted a certain kind of staff. I would bet that some were the kind who were bullied in school by kids and for a moment this gave them the chance to "get back" as irrational as that is. Looking up the adults now and asking why they did it is to me pointless. If you reach out and the person says yeah I feel terrible let's talk that is one thing. Again, these are all young people involved and they don't have enough life experience to know that these adults just did a job and moved on and there was just too much going on for them to spend lots of time on thinking of old jobs. The guy they talked to from marketing was at least willing to say he too was manipulated and he did point out to the school that there wasn't anything worthwhile at the school.

The rest of your post was generally thoughtful, so I’m hoping the bolder part was poor thinking or wording. “I was just doing my job” is never an excuse. Nazi soldiers were just doing their jobs, too. You cannot turn a blind eye when your employer is harming others just because it was your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the program and obviously some really horrific things that happened at some of these residential facilities but what options does a parent have when their child is completely out of control?

The film makers states in an interview she was “Drinking, smoking, sneaking out at night… typical teenager stuff,” Kubler says in the series. When she was kicked out of boarding school in 2004 during her sophomore year for having alcohol, she assumed that her father would come pick her up." Instead she was sent to an institution.

I haven't seen the series but it sounds like she was out of control and the parents had no idea what else to do. I don't consider sneaking out at 15, drinking, and getting kicked out of boarding school for alcohol as a sophomore- typical teen experience. I read she was attending a boarding school - Stony Brook that now costs to board $66,000 a year. Does she ever take any responsibility for being so wild in her teen years? If she could have followed rules she could have spent her high school years in a pretty nice boarding school instead of getting sent away.

These kids were not all that wild and the schools manipulated the parents.

I have watched 3 episodes. I think the kids portray themselves as being in the best light. Once they are parents themselves, they will have a better understanding of how their behavior really was. So I take with a grain of salt the young woman who keeps saying "I just had a a mike's hard lemonade". I mean it's pretty clear that is the time she got caught not the only time she did it. The poor girl clearly need help and her dad and step mom made the mistake of not getting her therapy and family therapy. She was irrationally angry at her step mother for taking her mother's place which is a valid feeling for a kid but no one helped her process that. She still needs help processing all that happened and also she is at the age when she can reflect on her own behavior and comes to turn with the fact that she contributed to her situation. Not responsible for the situation but certainly a contributor.

The school was terrible and parents were manipulated by the marketing for sure. It's hard to understand that parents didn't at least push for a tour of all the areas and ask for an observation and to understand the rules. And yet also as a parent, I have know the relief that can come with the feelings of just getting peace at home and finally things are normal and not wanting to upset that so you just believe it is all going ok and they are going to fix it. I think it is good that these documentaries come out even if they are super well done or produced. Parents need to understand and ask questions before using programs and schools that promise they help with behavior.

The school clearly attracted a certain kind of staff. I would bet that some were the kind who were bullied in school by kids and for a moment this gave them the chance to "get back" as irrational as that is. Looking up the adults now and asking why they did it is to me pointless. If you reach out and the person says yeah I feel terrible let's talk that is one thing. Again, these are all young people involved and they don't have enough life experience to know that these adults just did a job and moved on and there was just too much going on for them to spend lots of time on thinking of old jobs. The guy they talked to from marketing was at least willing to say he too was manipulated and he did point out to the school that there wasn't anything worthwhile at the school.

I don't think the kids sent there are really acknowledging how stressful it is for parent AND siblings when there is an out of control child at home. My son's best friend has an older sister who has been completely out of control since around age 13 and she is now 17 so for at least the last 4 years. The parents have spent easily in the six figures with therapists, psychiatrists, a short residential placement they are still fighting insurance to help pay for. She has spray painted the inside of her room, invited "friends" over that steal things including the mother's jewelry and the brothers's video games, left holes in walls, ditches school to hang out with friends, posts pictures on instagram of drug and alcohol use, will take off and not listen to be back home at a certain time even on school nights, yells at her parents, etc. My son was invited to spend the weekend in the mountains with the for the son's birthday. My son came home so sad that the whole time the parents had to keep appeasing the sister because she would threaten to take off if they didn't do what she said or do what she wanted to do instead of what the birthday boy wanted to do. He would just agree to anything the sister said to keep the peace. The son had a big event that his parents were looking forward to attending and the sister crashed the car the night before so it interfered with the parents attending because she was in the ER for hours into the morning.

My son stopped going over to the friends house except for the two months the sister was in a residential care. He said it was the first time the family seemed really a happy together and relaxed. Last summer I took the son with us on a two week vacation. He was so surprised when I kept asking him what he wanted to do or where he wanted to eat. We explained we had already vacationed here so my two kids have already chosen to do things so we wanted him to have a really good time. He said he wasn't used to getting to decide anything. A couple of years ago we set up an extra bed in my son's room and emptied out a dresser drawer for him so he can stay at our house whenever he wants.

So yeah what happened to them in these centers was awful but I don't think they are acknowledging now as adults how truly awful the situation was at home for them to get sent there. The parents wanted to keep their kids alive and probably felt they had no choice. I really think the survivors are downplaying the behaviors they were engaging in that led their parents to send them away.

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen the documentary, but if you want to read another first-hand account about the troubled teen industry this a great web comic: Joe vs. Elan School https://elan.school

[Anonymous]

I cant believe a pp is defending these places or the parents that put kids there. They literally beat the shit out of them. Abused them. Gave them PTSD. I believe the show said 40 suicides from survivors of the program. Horrific.

I am seriously worried about a parent who thinks peace at home is worth losing their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen the documentary, but if you want to read another first-hand account about the troubled teen industry this a great web comic: Joe vs. Elan School https://elan.school

I hung in through half of this and then stopped. This is believable, and I'm not the intended audience. Joe obviously needs to process a lot of things. How did Joe end up in this place? What were his parents seeing? His friends? Teachers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cant believe a pp is defending these places or the parents that put kids there. They literally beat the shit out of them. Abused them. Gave them PTSD. I believe the show said 40 suicides from survivors of the program. Horrific.

I am seriously worried about a parent who thinks peace at home is worth losing their child.

Peace at home and knowing your child is alive is why parents have placed their kids in these places. When your kid is so out of control often every night the parents wonder if their kids will come back alive. Before going to the place in Utah, Paris Hilton was sent to live with her grandmother in Palm Springs as a 14 year old. She was drugged and raped at a party at 15. When she moved to NYC at 16 she was sneaking out at night going to nightclubs and partying. She was influencing her younger sister as well. There are plenty of stories of 19 year old Paris partying with her 16 year old sister in NYC nightclubs.

So yeah I am defending the parents because the parents really felt like they had no other option to keep their kids alive and keep their siblings from developing PTSD from all the drama of the out of control sibling. Obviously they had no idea how horrifically bad their kids were treated and never would have wanted that but it is totally easy to understand why parents sent their kids to these places. I don't see any of the kids really admitting they were totally out of control and that the parents felt like they didn't have any other option.