sigh.. trying to find high school for ADHD son
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Anonymous
| Our son is an 8th grader at FCPS Comprehensive support services because of his ADHD. Middle school has been a challenge but we decided to take him off all of his meds to hit the reset button. He was on meds from 1st grade. He has been on every stimulant, non-stimulant, anti-depressant, and even bipolar meds. Nothing helps him. He was extremely depressed on meds and we just had had enough. Since taking him off of meds, he has been doing great. Sure, he is hyper and unfocused at times, but is a hard worker, a nice kid, and he does try really had. We did a neuro educational assessment, got teacher statements, and the difference between him on and off of meds in the teacher narratives was night and day. Any, through all of this, we applied to Commonwealth Academy since he needs small classes and executive functioning help. We were really excited about the school but he was not accepted as they did not feel they could offer the support that he needs. I'm wondering if it has to do with past behavioral issues that haven't been present since he got off the meds. I feel like he is being pushed through FCPS.. he is in all team taught classes, he is making friends, and generally doing ok.. I just wanted a bit more for him.... anyway, if anyone has advice, thoughts, encouragement, I'd appreciate it. It's hard having your kid not welcome in a space where you thought he would thrive. |
Anonymous
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You're not entirely clear. How is he doing academically, and behaviorally, with and without meds? Has he been diagnosed with anything else, apart from ADHD?
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Anonymous
| Sure- he has all As and Bs, behaviour has improved significantly without meds. Significant ADHD, overlapping symptoms with what was previously known as Asperger's, but not neuropsych did not diagnose Autism. |
Anonymous
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TBH, in retrospect, I wish we had focused on friendships and providing outside tutoring while maintaining an IEP w/accoms but not expecting any special instruction.
Public school sucks at educating neurodivergent kids. Meds helped, IMO but we have had to go back over the years to adjust or try new ones. YMMV. |
Anonymous
OK. I have a kid with ADHD/ASD. The bottom line is, your kid is on the spectrum and you have to treat him as such. Maybe the reason most of the meds didn't work is that his behavioral symptoms probably had more to do with being Aspie than being ADHD. Our psychologist at Stixrud told us a majority of people on the spectrum also have anxiety and executive function issues (ie, ADHD). My kid graduated from MCPS, their GT/LD program (gifted, talented and learning disabled), where there are a lot of Aspie/ADHD kids like him. MCPS also had an Asperger's program, but I'm not sure if it's still ongoing. It would also require you to move, so... Perhaps your son, if he's willing, should work with a therapist versed in Asperger's and autism, to give him tools to cope emotionally, be more self-aware, and understand social cues. Going into high school is a HUGE transition, and he might also need academic tutoring to smooth his way. You can help him with executive function, be a coach of sorts (unless you want to pay for that too), remind him to use a planner, check assignment due dates, etc. I suggest these things because no school is going to magically fix things, OP, although it would be nice to keep some accommodations. Which ones do you think he needs? |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry OP. Our kid was reject from Commonwealth for middle school and it sucked (even though I think they were right and it was not a great fit).
It’s incredibly frustrating to find a school to fit kids who don’t fall into the most common boxes. I have no real advice for you- just commiseration. |
Anonymous
| When you say you wanted more from him than you're currently getting from the public school, what does that mean? It sounds like he's doing well academically and socially right now. What piece do you think is missing? Could you work with the public high school to get it? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like he is doing really well? |
Anonymous
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He sounds like he's doing well now that he's off the meds. Are you sure you need a place like Commonwealth?
If you think you do I would keep in touch with the admissions staff and re-apply with a new set of teacher recommendations now that he's older and doing better. |
Anonymous
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Commonwealth does a fantastic job of selecting very bright kids with absolutely zero actual challenges other than maybe some social quirkiness. Then they bask in the glory.
That’s fine, clearly there’s a niche there to be filled, and it’s a great school for that. But they absolutely do the PR blitz on “ADHD kids” and everything else, but have no interest in taking on even very slight challenges. Don’t give it a second thought. |
Anonymous
| We left Commonwealth. It was so small and really didn’t do much EF building. My kid did well there academically because it really was super easy and standards were low. Teachers were nice and understanding but overall we were not that impressed. If that makes you feel better… |
Anonymous
| You could look into the Sycamore School or Howard Gardner School. |
Anonymous
| OP here! Thanks for all of the ideas and support. I feel a lot better. I would love to find a smaller environment for him. I did look at Sycamore and Howard Gardner, but he needs a lot more structure than I found they offered. I appreciate the comments about executive functioning and tutoring- I will look further into this. Again, thank you for this community and all of your thoughts. |
Anonymous
| Maybe Burke? |
Anonymous
Burke 100% would not take a kid with this profile. People seem to think it's a good place for neurodiverse kids-- perhaps that was true at one time, i don't know, but they are pushing back HARD on that reputation. Particularly if a child has any mental health concerns, they will not even consider your kid. This was not just my experience, by the way. Every kid with ADHD at my kid's school who applied to Burke this year was declined. |