Culture of northern Chicago suburbs?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I left DC about 8 years ago due to high COL, the competetive snobbery, and stress with commutes plus two little kids. We moved to a smaller city with lower cost of living. On the whole it’s been great. We both like our jobs, have a great house that’s doubled in value, kids are doing well in elementary school, and we have made great friends. Cons are the area is isolated and hard to get to for our east coast families, there are not a ton of amenities - limits restaurants, no upscale shopping, etc. the middle school options are dicey but doable, and there are limited sports options (which is nice but not great if say my kids gets super into softball, there is a decent elementary league but not beyond).


A job opportunity presented itself for my husband north of Chicago. We would likely live in one of the northern suburbs (ie willmette, highland park) etc. does anyone know anything about the culture? I would never move back to dc because I had such a terrible experience with snobs, self obsessed competetive people in the work place, etc. I don’t want my kids growing up feeling less than, and with peers who do things like ski in Aspen, fly private, go to Bali, etc. and with extreme materialism.

Our HHI is about 450k and would go up to about 650k with the move. Aside from some obvious things, like much higher property taxes, this move does seem appealing. Any advice? It isn’t really a huge promotion for my husband, but it’s with a bigger company with some big perks.

[Anonymous]

I would say the John Hughes movies are an accurate description of the area. Of course the technology has drastically changed since then.

[Anonymous]

The schools are kind of a pressure cooker, but I imagine not dissimilar to DC. The area is very wealthy but I feel like people were a bit more down to earth. I really like the area; just wish it wasn’t so cold.

FWIW, I do not live there but have a close family member who has for my entire life and have spent a LOT of time there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I left DC about 8 years ago due to high COL, the competetive snobbery, and stress with commutes plus two little kids. We moved to a smaller city with lower cost of living. On the whole it’s been great. We both like our jobs, have a great house that’s doubled in value, kids are doing well in elementary school, and we have made great friends. Cons are the area is isolated and hard to get to for our east coast families, there are not a ton of amenities - limits restaurants, no upscale shopping, etc. the middle school options are dicey but doable, and there are limited sports options (which is nice but not great if say my kids gets super into softball, there is a decent elementary league but not beyond).


A job opportunity presented itself for my husband north of Chicago. We would likely live in one of the northern suburbs (ie willmette, highland park) etc. does anyone know anything about the culture? I would never move back to dc because I had such a terrible experience with snobs, self obsessed competetive people in the work place, etc. I don’t want my kids growing up feeling less than, and with peers who do things like ski in Aspen, fly private, go to Bali, etc. and with extreme materialism.

Our HHI is about 450k and would go up to about 650k with the move. Aside from some obvious things, like much higher property taxes, this move does seem appealing. Any advice? It isn’t really a huge promotion for my husband, but it’s with a bigger company with some big perks.

They're the same as any other HCOL area suburb. NY, DC, LA, Chicago... all basically the same. If you really want to avoid extreme materialism, you need to go somewhere more economically diverse. Some of the nicer Western Chicago suburbs could fit the bill.

[Anonymous]

Haven't you heard? No one on the North Shore is wealthy.

https://www.chicagomag.com/city-life/october-2019/theres-no-wrong-side-of-the-tracks-on-the-north-shore/

Honestly though. You are looking for upscale restaurants and shopping, top athletics but with no competitiveness or materialism? Seems incompatible. There are certainly down-to-earth neighborhoods and relatively modest homes in both Highland Park and Wilmette, but your kids will be going to school with kids who are uber-wealthy and have all the things.

Evanston is your best bet for socioeconomic and racial/ethnic diversity on the North Shore. To be sure there are wealthy people here too, but the culture of materialism is somewhat diluted as there are plenty of UMC, MC and low income families in the mix.

And as pp stated, towns/villages in the western suburbs may also be more down to earth, though plenty of those families there have nice cars, expensive vacations, designer clothes and money to burn. For high schools with top athletics you'd want to look at Glenbrook North, Glenbrook South, and Stevenson serving neighborhoods like Glenview, Northbrook, Deerfield, etc. Parents have tons of money to spend on expensive clubs, private lessons with coaches, same as DC, which may be in part why sports teams are top notch.

[Anonymous]

Consider glenview - we moved there from Arlington a couple of years ago with little kids and love it. We looked at wilmette / winnetka but didn’t want our kids growing up thinking $10m houses are normal 🤪 there’s more economic diversity (and a wee bit of ethnic diversity) in glenview…but you’re still less than 7 miles from the lake shore, amazing amenities thru parks and rec, and close enough to go to festivals all over the north shore. Schools are great as well!

[Anonymous]

We live in the city (Chicago) but there are suburbs with great schools and more down to earth people - Glenview, Park Ridge, Naperville (west) are a few that quickly come to mind. Why is this North Shore or nothing? I think you are setting up a false choice.

I know some really nice people who are second generation North Shore but it is somewhat insular in that way (people from there go back there) and they all say New Trier is a pressure cooker. Highland Park HS is tough right now - lot of lingering trauma from the shooting (this is from a family who was at the parade so maybe just one person's view).

In general the Chicago area is great for families, I can't speak to the suburbs since I've lived in the city since moving here 25 years ago but people here are really friendly. Great community feel.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in Wilmette as a non-wealthy family. Had a great childhood and loved school. New Trier is huge but my siblings and I each found our niche and had great experiences. That was decades ago and you know your kids and whether they would enjoy a pressure cooker environment. I don’t think it is that different from the DC suburbs (lived there), NY suburbs (sibling is there) or any affluent suburb.

I would look at Deerfield over HP. If we had stayed, we would have looked there.

Also, note that the state of Illinois’ finances are a mess. Don’t know how that affects day to day life but I do know a fair number of people who have left the state once their kids go to college,

[Anonymous]

I used to live in Chicago and miss it a lot. I'd love to move there, but it is too cold for my DH.

To answer your questions: If you don't like snobs and don't want your kids feeling left out because you don't do spring break in Aspen, you'll want to think about avoiding Willmette and Highland Park. If you aren't Jewish, you might not fit in well in Highland Park, if you are Jewish, then you will. If you are still concerned with controlling your COL, which you mentioned, I'd avoid both -- they are quite expensive. However, given your HHI, you will be quite well off for Chicago. I'd consider looking into neighborhoods in the city and paying for private school if necessary (Francis Parker is great, but it might be hard to get in). A friend who lives in the loop on the lakefront actually has his elementary kids in public -- their PTA does an amazing job and the school is great.

If I were moving back and in your circumstances and really wanted a suburb, I'd probably consider Oak Park, or maybe Evanston.

But yeah, I love Chicago so much. I'd move there in a heartbeat if I could. Eat a Chicago dog for me, and walk along the lake front for me, and visit the Chagalls at the Art Institute for me, and get a Lou Malnati's pizza for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in Chicago and miss it a lot. I'd love to move there, but it is too cold for my DH.

To answer your questions: If you don't like snobs and don't want your kids feeling left out because you don't do spring break in Aspen, you'll want to think about avoiding Willmette and Highland Park. If you aren't Jewish, you might not fit in well in Highland Park, if you are Jewish, then you will. If you are still concerned with controlling your COL, which you mentioned, I'd avoid both -- they are quite expensive. However, given your HHI, you will be quite well off for Chicago. I'd consider looking into neighborhoods in the city and paying for private school if necessary (Francis Parker is great, but it might be hard to get in). A friend who lives in the loop on the lakefront actually has his elementary kids in public -- their PTA does an amazing job and the school is great.

If I were moving back and in your circumstances and really wanted a suburb, I'd probably consider Oak Park, or maybe Evanston.

But yeah, I love Chicago so much. I'd move there in a heartbeat if I could. Eat a Chicago dog for me, and walk along the lake front for me, and visit the Chagalls at the Art Institute for me, and get a Lou Malnati's pizza for me.

Not OP but left DMV for Chicago and I love it here. I’ll get Lou’s for you this weekend, and a dog dragged thru the garden to wash it down

[Anonymous]

I would look at Park Ridge, the neighborhood to the north of the highway just below their country club.

[Anonymous]

Try Arlington Heights. I’ve always liked the people I’ve met from there.

Also, the area of Skokie that feeds into Evanston school district.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I left DC about 8 years ago due to high COL, the competetive snobbery, and stress with commutes plus two little kids. We moved to a smaller city with lower cost of living. On the whole it’s been great. We both like our jobs, have a great house that’s doubled in value, kids are doing well in elementary school, and we have made great friends. Cons are the area is isolated and hard to get to for our east coast families, there are not a ton of amenities - limits restaurants, no upscale shopping, etc. the middle school options are dicey but doable, and there are limited sports options (which is nice but not great if say my kids gets super into softball, there is a decent elementary league but not beyond).


A job opportunity presented itself for my husband north of Chicago. We would likely live in one of the northern suburbs (ie willmette, highland park) etc. does anyone know anything about the culture? I would never move back to dc because I had such a terrible experience with snobs, self obsessed competetive people in the work place, etc. I don’t want my kids growing up feeling less than, and with peers who do things like ski in Aspen, fly private, go to Bali, etc. and with extreme materialism.

Our HHI is about 450k and would go up to about 650k with the move. Aside from some obvious things, like much higher property taxes, this move does seem appealing. Any advice? It isn’t really a huge promotion for my husband, but it’s with a bigger company with some big perks.

It's all where you choose to live - the DC area is FILLED with true middle class and low income people who are not as you describe above, but you chose to live among a wealthier set, it seems. Similarly, the northern suburbs of Chicago will be wealthy. So, use people's advice here on locations to find a truly diverse neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

We moved to the North Shore from the DC area few years back (Lake Forest) and it is definitely more laid back wealth here. It’s more old money than the new money of the DC area. The midwestern culture definitely softens the edge on people here. Community amenities are excellent, public schools are excellent (and no you don’t have to be in the giant New Trier or Stevenson school districts for top notch schools.) There are many good and smaller school districts in the suburbs here. We love the lake and city access, love the midwest vibes, love the older town centers built up along the commuter rail, winters have been so mild the last few years. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the North Shore from the DC area few years back (Lake Forest) and it is definitely more laid back wealth here. It’s more old money than the new money of the DC area. The midwestern culture definitely softens the edge on people here. Community amenities are excellent, public schools are excellent (and no you don’t have to be in the giant New Trier or Stevenson school districts for top notch schools.) There are many good and smaller school districts in the suburbs here. We love the lake and city access, love the midwest vibes, love the older town centers built up along the commuter rail, winters have been so mild the last few years. No regrets.

This was my experience. My family moved to Lake Forest with the McCormick's, as my great grandfather was the gardener for the estate. I lived in Deerfield. The high school was excellent, better than any non-magnet high school in the DMV area. I lived in a very modest two bedroom home, but it was fine - low crime, excellent schools and so on. It is a bit boring but on balance a great place to live. My brother and I were state champions in our sport, and the community couldn't have supported us better. Lake County has a culture of its own - I used to spend a lot of time in Waukegan (it is where I did my sport) and while a tough town it was very livable. The taxes are high and Illinois government is corrupt, so that is a problem.