If a parent doesn't see their kids during their custody time, can they lose it?

[Anonymous]

We have a family member who is in the process of divorce and has completely lost interest in their kids. They have a lot of parenting time, but they leave the kids with grandparents, or aunts, or uncles for all of it. At the most, they might see the kids for an hour or two over the course of a week, and there are plenty of weeks when they don't see them at all. Some of the time they aren't there the parent is working, but the majority of the time they aren't.

How does this look in court? Will this be held against them? When it goes to court, will they lose custody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a family member who is in the process of divorce and has completely lost interest in their kids. They have a lot of parenting time, but they leave the kids with grandparents, or aunts, or uncles for all of it. At the most, they might see the kids for an hour or two over the course of a week, and there are plenty of weeks when they don't see them at all. Some of the time they aren't there the parent is working, but the majority of the time they aren't.

How does this look in court? Will this be held against them? When it goes to court, will they lose custody?

Your family member will likely not lose custody, but could/would get reduced custody. In my opinion, reduced custody is appropriate in this case because if your family member is disinterested in the children (your words) and is pawning them off to other family members during his/her parenting time, that time should go to the other parent. The point of parenting time is to be the with the *parent*, not with extended family *all the time*. Obviously, the children spending some time with extended family is perfectly fine. But what you've described is not appropriate. If I were the other parent in this situation, I would be pissed.

[Anonymous]

If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

Maybe you should offer to switch times if the times they have they are working. Putting your kids to bed and seeing them in the morning isn't much time at all. Sounds like you should lose custody too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

Maybe you should offer to switch times if the times they have they are working. Putting your kids to bed and seeing them in the morning isn't much time at all. Sounds like you should lose custody too.

These aren't my kids. I don't have custody of these kids. But you will note the bolded.

The kids other parent has made it very clear that they are willing to switch, either permanently, or on a weekly basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

Maybe you should offer to switch times if the times they have they are working. Putting your kids to bed and seeing them in the morning isn't much time at all. Sounds like you should lose custody too.

These aren't my kids. I don't have custody of these kids. But you will note the bolded.

The kids other parent has made it very clear that they are willing to switch, either permanently, or on a weekly basis.

So, why are you getting involved and posting here? Weird. But, if all you see is your kids a little before school and at bed time you should consider your own parenting.

Where did you get that I only see my kids "a little before school and at bed time"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

Maybe you should offer to switch times if the times they have they are working. Putting your kids to bed and seeing them in the morning isn't much time at all. Sounds like you should lose custody too.

These aren't my kids. I don't have custody of these kids. But you will note the bolded.

The kids other parent has made it very clear that they are willing to switch, either permanently, or on a weekly basis.

So, why are you getting involved and posting here? Weird. But, if all you see is your kids a little before school and at bed time you should consider your own parenting.

Where did you get that I only see my kids "a little before school and at bed time"?

Your post.

[Anonymous]

If these aren't your kids, stay out of it. Your input doesn't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are working what do you want them to do? Mom probably works too. So, both should lose custody by your logic.

The parent in question works about 20 hours a week. Even if all of those hours happened during parenting time, they should be able to see the kids since they have far more than 20 hours of parenting.

The other parent works full time and still manages to see the kids every morning, and put them to bed every night, plus spend other time with them. I work full time, and manage to spend time every day with my own kids.

Maybe you should offer to switch times if the times they have they are working. Putting your kids to bed and seeing them in the morning isn't much time at all. Sounds like you should lose custody too.

These aren't my kids. I don't have custody of these kids. But you will note the bolded.

The kids other parent has made it very clear that they are willing to switch, either permanently, or on a weekly basis.

So, why are you getting involved and posting here? Weird. But, if all you see is your kids a little before school and at bed time you should consider your own parenting.

Where did you get that I only see my kids "a little before school and at bed time"?

Your post.

No. I wrote that even on the days when their other parent works long hours, they still see their kids before school and at bedtime, and that they also see them a lot of other times, on days when they work less. I didn't say they only see them before school and at bedtime and the comment wasn't related to when I see my own kids.

[Anonymous]

It looks terrible. I would definitely fight to get that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks terrible. I would definitely fight to get that time.

You are terrible for taking away time with their other parent and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It looks terrible. I would definitely fight to get that time.

You are terrible for taking away time with their other parent and family.

If the other parent isn’t interested in parenting, then it would actually be my duty as a parent to take that time. I wouldn’t cut anyone off (including grandparents etc) but I absolutely would go for full custody w minimal visitation.

[Anonymous]

Wait, why would it go back to court? Custody has been decided, right? Is one parent trying to change it?
The other parent can offer to change, but who is complaining? I don't know or ask where my kid is when he is with ex. We share custody and I'm sure he is not out to hurt them. The only reason to change anything is if the kids are left unattended, the kids complain or are in danger. It takes a village to raise a kid specially after divorce.

[Anonymous]

When else can extended family see the kid of not during custody time? Unless those family or unfit or want to custody back to you, you're just interfering.