Teacher tells me five year old boy doesn't pay attention, might be ADD

[Anonymous]

My son is in TK and turned five in September. Next year he will be in Kindergarten.
His TK teacher told me that he is very inattentive, sometimes she says things and she can tell he didn't listen to a word of it, and that while not the worst in the class, it definitely sticks out. She suggested because he's so young, wait until next year to get him evaluated. He isn't hyperactive and is learning all the things he should well, but I notice that he also doesn't listen to his soccer and baseball coaches, his head is sort of in the clouds and he's off doing his own thing when the other kids are listening. Would you heed her advice and wait to address this or is it one of those things where its better to address earlier? I don't know what to do, and it's stressing me out.

[Anonymous]

1. I would take the opinion of a teacher with a grain of salt. I was also told by a teacher (kindergarten) that my child likely had ADHD because of lack of attentiveness in class. I stressed about it a lot, and one thing I wish someone had told me then was "this is one data point." So: this is one data point.

2. I would not decide whether or not to evaluate him based on the teacher's directions. She is not a neuropsychologist. She doesn't know. She has given you the useful info she has (that his attention issues feel like an outlier to her for this grade level). That's it.

3. I would take a look at some of the questionnaires for ADHD and see how well you feel these symptoms fit your child. Incorporate the teacher's feedback into your assessment, but don't limit it to that. One thing you didn't mention in your post was whether he does this kind of thing at home -- do you have trouble getting him to focus? Does it impact how he interacts with other kids? Has it impacted things like pre-literacy learning? These would all be signs leaning towards early evaluation.

4. The downside of early evaluation is that these things change, especially for younger kids who may "outgrow" what initially appear to be ADHD symptoms. This is why professionals often recommend waiting until age 6 except in cases where the symptoms are more severe. It sounds like your son might be on the bubble. Early evaluation won't hurt and could be beneficial. But be aware that you might have to go through it again sooner than expected if his behaviors change a lot in the next year. This may also impact whether insurance pays for an eval.

In the end my DD got a "mild" ADHD diagnosis but is borderline, which wound up being not very helpful. The more useful assessment was that she has some sensory issues for which we can do OT, and that has helped with some of the issues that the teacher thought might have been ADHD. We may have to evaluate again in a few years. For us, waiting until 6 was the right choice because it gave her some time to mature a bit and some of what the teacher identified as problem behaviors, she outgrew.

The biggest thing is that this need not be a major source of stress unless it is inhibiting his ability to learn, make friends, or enjoy life, which it sounds like it is not. In that case, thank the teacher for the input, make an independent decision about whether to evaluate now or wait a bit and see how it goes (neither are incorrect) and try to remind yourself that your son is doing fine. This is not a diagnosis, it's a suggestion. Try to treat it as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is in TK and turned five in September. Next year he will be in Kindergarten.
His TK teacher told me that he is very inattentive, sometimes she says things and she can tell he didn't listen to a word of it, and that while not the worst in the class, it definitely sticks out. She suggested because he's so young, wait until next year to get him evaluated. He isn't hyperactive and is learning all the things he should well, but I notice that he also doesn't listen to his soccer and baseball coaches, his head is sort of in the clouds and he's off doing his own thing when the other kids are listening. Would you heed her advice and wait to address this or is it one of those things where its better to address earlier? I don't know what to do, and it's stressing me out.

Sounds like the teacher may be overly sensitive to minor displays of disrespect, like kids tuning her out. Behavior that doesn't affect his ability or other students' ability to learn doesn't sound like something to worry about just yet. Try not to het stressed out.

Also, not listening during sports practice is pretty normal for a 5 year old! Organized sports are not for everyone. I would not force that just because it seems like everyone else is doing kiddie sportsball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I would take the opinion of a teacher with a grain of salt. I was also told by a teacher (kindergarten) that my child likely had ADHD because of lack of attentiveness in class. I stressed about it a lot, and one thing I wish someone had told me then was "this is one data point." So: this is one data point.

2. I would not decide whether or not to evaluate him based on the teacher's directions. She is not a neuropsychologist. She doesn't know. She has given you the useful info she has (that his attention issues feel like an outlier to her for this grade level). That's it.

3. I would take a look at some of the questionnaires for ADHD and see how well you feel these symptoms fit your child. Incorporate the teacher's feedback into your assessment, but don't limit it to that. One thing you didn't mention in your post was whether he does this kind of thing at home -- do you have trouble getting him to focus? Does it impact how he interacts with other kids? Has it impacted things like pre-literacy learning? These would all be signs leaning towards early evaluation.

4. The downside of early evaluation is that these things change, especially for younger kids who may "outgrow" what initially appear to be ADHD symptoms. This is why professionals often recommend waiting until age 6 except in cases where the symptoms are more severe. It sounds like your son might be on the bubble. Early evaluation won't hurt and could be beneficial. But be aware that you might have to go through it again sooner than expected if his behaviors change a lot in the next year. This may also impact whether insurance pays for an eval.

In the end my DD got a "mild" ADHD diagnosis but is borderline, which wound up being not very helpful. The more useful assessment was that she has some sensory issues for which we can do OT, and that has helped with some of the issues that the teacher thought might have been ADHD. We may have to evaluate again in a few years. For us, waiting until 6 was the right choice because it gave her some time to mature a bit and some of what the teacher identified as problem behaviors, she outgrew.

The biggest thing is that this need not be a major source of stress unless it is inhibiting his ability to learn, make friends, or enjoy life, which it sounds like it is not. In that case, thank the teacher for the input, make an independent decision about whether to evaluate now or wait a bit and see how it goes (neither are incorrect) and try to remind yourself that your son is doing fine. This is not a diagnosis, it's a suggestion. Try to treat it as such.

+1

Same. I was told this by a preschool teacher (son was 4). DS has never had any issues at all in school from kindergarten on, behaviorally or academically. Now in 7th grade. I was quite worried and upset at the time though. My DS would wander around the room, not really listen, wouldn’t stay seated for circle time and such (in preschool). I have a lot of respect for teachers but it is only piece of the puzzle- particularly at such a young age

[Anonymous]

He did turn 5 or he WILL turn 5? If he is 5.5 now and in prek then he may be bored and acting out becasue of this.

[Anonymous]

Diagnosis at age 5/6/7 is done by developmental pediatrician, and those are impossible to find. Diagnosis at age eight plus can be done by psychologist, where the wait times are much shorter. So waiting gets you maturity and an easier diagnosis process.

My kids were diagnosed at age eight, and I don’t regret waiting. Wouldn’t have done anything different if I had the formal diagnosis, so I didn’t need to know.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a private school. Public schools teachers aren’t allowed to say this.

[Anonymous]

My DC's third grade teacher said this to me. Our DC is an only, so I didn't have a frame of reference to compare against. Attention-wise, DC seemed on a par with most kids the same age.

I put my head to the ground. What I learned, from questioning a half dozen or so other parents, is that the teacher told all of these parents their kids were probably ADHD. No way would so many kids in one small class need Adderal. The teacher needed something, that much was clear.

I would suggest to OP to consider the source, and take what was said with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Teachers cannot diagnose. Get the hearing checked

[Anonymous]

he sounds like a normal active kid.

If it is realy strressing you out you could try a consequence chart. Talk to him and expain the chart.

Pick a behavior that is the issue, then make a chart with 6 boxes on it, the first 3 boxes are empty, the 4 th is losing a privledge like no tv time/ ipad (whatever after school), 5th is somehthing a little bigger, like no playdate afterschool or some other thing that is meaningful, 6th is directly to bed after dinner.
Each time you have to comment/ correct him about the behavior you mark a box, starting at 1.
This was very help for for my son in elementary school. Reward charts didn't work for him.

I got this solution from the book the Well Behaved Child. I didn't love everything in the book, but the consequence chart idea was very helpful for us.

Public school teachers and principals may not be "allowed" to tell you to have your kid evaluated or to medicate them, but it certainly doesn't stop them from telling you to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a private school. Public schools teachers aren’t allowed to say this.

Public school teachers can say it. Might get in trouble if they don't frame it politely and rrspectfully, bit not going to get fired for suggesting ADHD eval.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a private school. Public schools teachers aren’t allowed to say this.

Not true, my son’s public school 2nd grade tried that on me. I have an older child with ADHD so I was 99% sure it was just boredom that was causing his inattentiveness.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal.

If you want to do something, make sure your kid does not eat any processed foods. See if that elicits a behavioral change. My guess it will be a positive thing.

After that, enjoy being a Mom and know you broke the sick code.

[Anonymous]

Opposing opinion here. Our child’s 2nd grade teacher said something similar to us. Considering she has far more experience with children’s’ behaviors than we do, we took our child to two different offices to be evaluated. Sure enough, it led to therapy and a much better path through school than we would have experienced otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Report her. She's not qualified to make a diagnosis. Also, consider putting him in another TK class.