Is it time to get help?

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant very easily (first try) at 34 and had a healthy pregnancy at 35. We decided we would like to have a second child and resumed this fall. Got pregnant again on first attempt this September but resulted in miscarriage around 8 weeks.

Since then I have tried three more times - I mean tracking cycle, ovulation, and having sex multiple times leading up to ovulation and day of / after. But nothing. Is it time to get help? I am already 36 and do have thyroid issues after my first pregnancy (Hashimotos) but it’s well monitored and my levels are good. We are anxious to not push it too late because a close family member had to deal with the tragedy of severe genetic disorders.

I’m taken aback by how “easy” it was when I didn’t even try very seriously the two times I did get pregnant - just had sex once both times - and now even though I’m more informed about TTC and doing the right things, it’s not happening.

How many more times would you try before seeking professional advice/assessment?

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP. In short: yes.

It is time to - at the very least - talk to an RE, and do whatever testing they suggest.

Also, don’t neglect the possibility of male-factor. Bring DH to have him tested too.

Many women do t feel comfortable with that. But you will not know until you get him tested. Use the RE or a fertility clinic; thr at-home tests are nearly useless.

[Anonymous]

The elephant in the room is that a majority of women do experience a “cliff” at 35. It’s not your DH, you’re just not as fertile. It’s going to take longer.

[Anonymous]

At 35, my OB told me to get help as soon as told her we were TTC. She said by the time we decide that we really NEED help (37, 38) it might be too late.

[Anonymous]

Agree - especially on at least getting test results to have some idea of where you stand.

[Anonymous]

How old are you now, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 35, my OB told me to get help as soon as told her we were TTC. She said by the time we decide that we really NEED help (37, 38) it might be too late.

This is bs, especially for a not first pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

3 months of trying and not first pregnancy? No, stop stressing. You are very likely fine. You got very lucky the first time but it is very normal for it to take a while post 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The elephant in the room is that a majority of women do experience a “cliff” at 35. It’s not your DH, you’re just not as fertile. It’s going to take longer.

No true - look up the actual stats on this. Gradual decline

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t hurt to at least get the consultation and get the wheels in motion. Are you confirming ovulation with the strips? Bc that’s very important. You may be fine but I also don’t see a downside to getting a medical opinion.

Had my kids at 35 and 38. The fertility fear mongering is overblown for those with normal/average fertility. Unfortunately some people of course do have an underlying issue and waiting does not help those individuals, so since you can never be sure, that’s why it’s good to check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you now, OP?

Thanks everyone. I'm 36 now, will be 37 before the end of this year.

I don't want the first easy conception/pregnancy to mislead me. Seems like it's not uncommon for secondary infertility to happen to people who had no issues conceiving the first.

Follow-up question: what kind of appointment would I be asking for, and from whom? PCP? OB? I can no longer go to my previous OB due to a move, so I don't have a current OB. I remember at my last practice you either schedule for the GYN side to get your annual, or the OB side once you have a home positive test. If I just want to discuss fertility and ask for next steps, who do I go to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 months of trying and not first pregnancy? No, stop stressing. You are very likely fine. You got very lucky the first time but it is very normal for it to take a while post 35.

there was also the miscarriage which I don't know if it's indicative of fertility troubles / egg quality drop off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t hurt to at least get the consultation and get the wheels in motion. Are you confirming ovulation with the strips? Bc that’s very important. You may be fine but I also don’t see a downside to getting a medical opinion.

Had my kids at 35 and 38. The fertility fear mongering is overblown for those with normal/average fertility. Unfortunately some people of course do have an underlying issue and waiting does not help those individuals, so since you can never be sure, that’s why it’s good to check

I tracked ovulation just with a cycle tracking app /fertile window estimator twice (once miscarriage, once nothing). This last cycle I did get the strips and it seemed to line up with my cycle as I expected. My period is very regular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 35, my OB told me to get help as soon as told her we were TTC. She said by the time we decide that we really NEED help (37, 38) it might be too late.

What kind of help did your OB offer once you started TTC? Straight to diagnostic testing? I never heard this before but I am admittedly not well-versed in TTC matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t hurt to at least get the consultation and get the wheels in motion. Are you confirming ovulation with the strips? Bc that’s very important. You may be fine but I also don’t see a downside to getting a medical opinion.

Had my kids at 35 and 38. The fertility fear mongering is overblown for those with normal/average fertility. Unfortunately some people of course do have an underlying issue and waiting does not help those individuals, so since you can never be sure, that’s why it’s good to check

I tracked ovulation just with a cycle tracking app /fertile window estimator twice (once miscarriage, once nothing). This last cycle I did get the strips and it seemed to line up with my cycle as I expected. My period is very regular.

Keep using the strips for another cycle or two - because you were able to get pregnant, that’s a good sign even though it miscarried. It is more likely than not that you just need a couple more tries.