Eh, this is only sort of true but you also have to pick your battles. My husband likes to lounge on the couch and in our bed with his street shoes on. I think it's a filthy habit and disgusting. I told him that it's a high priority for me to keep shoes off these surfaces - and I feel strongly about it. He... doesn't love me asking him to change how he prefers to sit/be. But he loves me and doesn't want me to be disgusted by the way he acts in our house. So he takes off his shoes before he lounges. OP, the best advice you got is to get the Fair Play cards and/or work through your household labor issues in counseling. You are deep in resentment, and that's a relationship killer. |
You could have just picked up the plate and put it on the table. Wow!!! |
GTFOH!! He is an adult, sometimes he does things that are convenient to himself that is not destructive to anything or anyone! Do you always fold your laundry right away? Do you always clean up immediately after dinner? Do you always fold towels and sheets the exact perfect way your partner requires? Do you always refill the soap dispenser and the toilet paper? Do you ever let the gas get below half a tank? Do you ever let the hamper overflow? ARE YOU PERFECT? |
You seem very rigid. Your husband sounds patient and mature. You need individual counseling. You will probably isolate your children the same way you annoy your husband. |
LEXAPRO!
You need to chill Marge. |
This and this is most husbands any time they apologize |
OP, in this case you sound controlling and are in the wrong. You can’t treat DH, an adult as though he is a naughty child. In this case you woke up stewing and wanted to fight in the morning. LET IT GO. |
I think you are off here --- this is a non-issue ---- you should not get it -- you are reading into this something else from your experience which you should not do. |
I'm with you OP. Simply because you don't like it is enough of a reason for him not to do it. I see it as disrespectful. |
BS. Total BS. You are now trying to justify where you acted wrong and people are calling you out for this. If any of this was even remotely true you would have said this in the original post. I will tell you one thing -- if you are getting fed up with all of this please be assured that your DH is more fed up with you complaining about it. If you are thinking of divorce he is well ahead of you. You all need couples therapy quickly. |
OP- You said you were "shocked" that he did this and it ruined the rest of the night for you. This is hard for me to even fathom. Have you ever looked into why you are so rigid and feel incredulous regarding people doing pretty basic stuff? I know you are looking for validation but honestly I think this is way more about you than your husband. |
Sure but no -- if your DH wants to leave his stuff out and not make the bed he can do that. He does not have to listen to you. If it bothers you -- talk to him about it. Likely he will conform to what you want if he knows it bothers you. Or he may not care -- then you get to choose to put up with it or not as he gets to choose as well. |
Ha ha. This one of the funniest posts on DCUM in a while. I hope it was meant that way. Telling OP to go to AFG is perfect. |
OK --- he wants to do it -- his dislike of doing it should be enough of a reason for her to keep quiet about it. She is disrespectful. |
OP, I feel sad for your kids growing up in a tense household due to your untreated mental issues.
Then, in the event of the likely split, they will have to shuffle back and forth. I'd bet $$$ that you make more work and are very critical of the kids, too. |