why are people so angry on this board?

[Anonymous]

this is my first experience of an on-line forum and considering its for parents looking for advice (mostly), how is it possible that so many people are snarky, rude, or downright mean?

are all on-line forums like this?

i just saw the responses to the dorothy height funeral and i'm kind of shocked...

[Anonymous]

I think it's because in real-life we have to be so politically corret and polite all the time-- to neighbors, co-workers, etc., then people get onto an anonymous board like this and just completely unload.

Personally whenever I see a thread that i think someone has said something stupid, or offensive, i just ignore it rather than respond with rudeness. I respond to a thread when I feel like i can offer something helpful or constructive. Maybe b/c in real-life I have people in my life (DH, close girlfriends, mom) that I can vent to, i don't need to do it here.

Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

How long have you lived in this area? Wander around for a few days, ride Metro, drive through the region...lots of anger and rudeness here, not just online.

That said, I still think most people are pretty nice. You get a few rotten apples, or people having a bad day, and it looks like the entire population consists of rude bitches.

[Anonymous]

I think it's just a few bad apples who post in numerous threads.

I've lived in this area for 20 years and most people I meet are nice. Drivers, eh, not so much, but talking to you, nice enough.

[Anonymous]

Traffic and congestion. I am normally very sweet. I have always walked to my job..and now I WAH. I sat in a 30-min traffic jam this morning to go 1 mile. I am tired, I am pms-ing big time, I have a migraine and everyone that posts something so smug or self-satisfying or cloyingly annoying is hearing from me today.

Tomorrow I should be in a better mood.

Generally, when I am in a good mood I am not on dcum. For some reason, I tend to come here when I feel like telling someone off but couldn't do it to their face. It cheers me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's because in real-life we have to be so politically corret and polite all the time-- to neighbors, co-workers, etc., then people get onto an anonymous board like this and just completely unload.

Personally whenever I see a thread that i think someone has said something stupid, or offensive, i just ignore it rather than respond with rudeness. I respond to a thread when I feel like i can offer something helpful or constructive. Maybe b/c in real-life I have people in my life (DH, close girlfriends, mom) that I can vent to, i don't need to do it here.

Just my 2 cents.

maybe those ppl don't really want to hear complaining all of the time....esp about petty things. That's why I come here to unload.

[SAM2]

I think because everyone is completely anonymous, it's easy to cast aside all restraints of civility and just let fly with really obnoxious things you'd never consider saying in real life. Once I started posting with an actual login, I found myself being much more constructive and respectful. When I'm not logged in, if I see someone being a complete jerk, I'm much more likely to tell her to screw off -- if I'm logged in, I find myself trying harder to contribute constructively (and more likely to hold back from calling someone an ass).

It doesn't make much sense, because I'm just as anonymous with my login, so there's no reason I should hesitate to say whatever snarky thing I'm thinking. But somehow having a login associated with my comments makes me behave better. There's probably some psychological theory that explains it.

I actually like it most of the time. Others should consider trying it. I can understand why the site admin does not want to require logins, but I think it would make this a more enjoyable place. Maybe sometime when I'm queen for a day ....

[Anonymous]

12:57 - well said.

There are a lot of angry, frustrated, can't keep up with (whomever they think is) the Joneses here.

This area is thankfully (for most), part of the trip, not the destination.

Take it in stride and decide it's pretty funny to watch.

[Anonymous]

I agree. This board is very toxic; I guess it's just become the culture of DCUM. Not all sites are like this. I no longer seek advice here; just read threads when bored.
Try the Berkeley Parents Network and the boards on Baby Center.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP - Sometimes it can be nasty - but if you want to learn more about a neighborhood, preschool etc. these ladies can be really really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is my first experience of an on-line forum and considering its for parents looking for advice (mostly), how is it possible that so many people are snarky, rude, or downright mean?

are all on-line forums like this?

i just saw the responses to the dorothy height funeral and i'm kind of shocked...

Mom why are you shocked? Is this news to you? Have you forgotten that most people here are Depressed and have bipolar and other disorders

[Anonymous]

Either Good Morning America or the Today Show had a spot on Mom bullies just yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. This board is very toxic; I guess it's just become the culture of DCUM. Not all sites are like this. I no longer seek advice here; just read threads when bored.
Try the Berkeley Parents Network and the boards on Baby Center.

OP here - thanks for the options! i will head to babycenter... i started using thissite as an expectant mom and found a mostly supportive online environment, but having the baby and moving into the general parenting and nanny discussion threads has been eye-opening...

i've never really understood why innocuous questions can be met with so much derision; obviously we all have friends who've asked us "silly" questions, and i'm sure even the meanest poster on here doesn't smack her friend down for asking if its ok to use a swim diaper without plastic pants or if the new cupcake shop has opened in chevy chase or whatever... but the response to the lovely OP about today's funeral were totally out of line - i logged on expected to read people eulagizing that incredible woman and instead, its a bunch of people complaining about traffic! huh? i don't get that at all!

[Anonymous]

don't let a few bad apples and trolls spoil the site for you - there's a lot of good stuff here. it's just like day-to-day life; you can't let the occasional asshole ruin your day. I think some people are nasty to begin with and then some of the realities of DC-area life make them even nastier. I consider myself a basically nice person, but I think I'd be nicer if I spent less time in traffic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is my first experience of an on-line forum and considering its for parents looking for advice (mostly), how is it possible that so many people are snarky, rude, or downright mean?

are all on-line forums like this?

i just saw the responses to the dorothy height funeral and i'm kind of shocked...

then u obviously weren't stuck in that nightmare this morning. Not the op--but it was stopped; no movement at all or way to get out of it for 40minutes. Lots of very angry motorists since there was no warning and it didn't make traffic news I guess for security reasons.