How to ask Nanny if she'd be willing to go part time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your boss came to you and said, we are cutting your hours more than 50% but I’ll try to find you some extra hours to help bridge the difference what would your reaction be?

they can get a other job with the vacant hours, Uber, Uber eats etc. or another part time nanny job

LOL. Why would an employee with in-demand skills take a DoorDash when they could just find another full time job?

OP, you apparently struggle to see anyone’s perspective but your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your boss came to you and said, we are cutting your hours more than 50% but I’ll try to find you some extra hours to help bridge the difference what would your reaction be?

they can get a other job with the vacant hours, Uber, Uber eats etc. or another part time nanny job

Good nannies will find a new job in a heartbeat. Why do they need to waste their time like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I think I’m just going to keep her full time til my due date. Then let her go. I still feel bad she will be sitting around doing nothing all day, but at least I’ll still be working so I can justify the help she will offer me in the afternoon, which I will need.

I still think this reaction is crazy, though. Families grow up. I can’t imagine it’s not a common occurrence for a family to need a nanny to drop down to part time. Meanwhile there must be a lot of stay at home moms (or moms who work part time) with babies not in school yet who would like to have a nanny in the mornings only. I don’t know why that’s so shocking of an idea to propose a type of nanny share where one nanny splits time between two families. But I guess it is. News to me.

It’s news to you that someone who is capable of working full time … would want to get paid for working full-time?

It’s completely different to propose a nanny share. A nanny I know who does this brings the baby from family 2 to do the elementary drop off and pick up for family 1 and then baby stays with them, while she keeps an eye on the older kids. I don’t know what their financial arrangement is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to clarify, I never expect her to live on part time hours and pay. I would help her find another family who needed mornings and see if she could still come to us in the afternoon.

I hear all the comments about wanting her when the baby is here. But I typically don’t have a nanny even touch the baby the whole time I’m on mat leave. That is my bonding time with the new baby and my responsibility, being off work. The day I go back to work is the day the nanny cares for that baby for the first time. This is what I did with my second.

Part of me hopes I won’t go back to my job after my mat leave. I would love to scale back part time then too. But I just don’t know how I’ll feel then. Another reason I am hesitant to shell out $1000+ a week, even though we do love her.

I just don’t know what to do.

You are going to want the nanny to help with the other kids!

[Anonymous]

I can’t tell if OP is more self-absorbed or lacking in foresight. Either way it is a bad look that won’t end well.

[Anonymous]

Not sure anyone has pointed this out, but OP expect that the other family will be ok with this arrangement will last for only a few months. I guess there is a tiny chance you can find someone who needs child care only in the morning (usually people want the afternoon like you). I think it will be impossible to find another family that will take the nanny for the morning for a few months only.

For what is worth, we have a FT nanny, but since my youngest is going to FT school and will be in K next year, we can’t justify paying her. I looked into finding only PT help, but it’s super expensive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I think I’m just going to keep her full time til my due date. Then let her go. I still feel bad she will be sitting around doing nothing all day, but at least I’ll still be working so I can justify the help she will offer me in the afternoon, which I will need.

I still think this reaction is crazy, though. Families grow up. I can’t imagine it’s not a common occurrence for a family to need a nanny to drop down to part time. Meanwhile there must be a lot of stay at home moms (or moms who work part time) with babies not in school yet who would like to have a nanny in the mornings only. I don’t know why that’s so shocking of an idea to propose a type of nanny share where one nanny splits time between two families. But I guess it is. News to me.

There's some, but not nearly as many families are in this situation as there are families that need full time care or afternoon only care.
Also, you have the added complication of wanting your nanny to come back to you full time after several months, which would leave the morning-only family in a lurch.

+1 This. But keeping a good nanny is worth it. OP can ask around and see if she can find a unicorn family that matches the free time nanny will have. Maybe she will find one, but it will likely take some work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I think I’m just going to keep her full time til my due date. Then let her go. I still feel bad she will be sitting around doing nothing all day, but at least I’ll still be working so I can justify the help she will offer me in the afternoon, which I will need.

I still think this reaction is crazy, though. Families grow up. I can’t imagine it’s not a common occurrence for a family to need a nanny to drop down to part time. Meanwhile there must be a lot of stay at home moms (or moms who work part time) with babies not in school yet who would like to have a nanny in the mornings only. I don’t know why that’s so shocking of an idea to propose a type of nanny share where one nanny splits time between two families. But I guess it is. News to me.

There's some, but not nearly as many families are in this situation as there are families that need full time care or afternoon only care.
Also, you have the added complication of wanting your nanny to come back to you full time after several months, which would leave the morning-only family in a lurch.

+1 This. But keeping a good nanny is worth it. OP can ask around and see if she can find a unicorn family that matches the free time nanny will have. Maybe she will find one, but it will likely take some work.

Why would the nanny want to do this? OP will you pay her more than others? What’s in it for the nanny? I am not saying you need to think about her needs and wants (that’s up to you), but you need to think about whether it makes sense for her or why would she want to do it? Wouldn’t it be just easier to find another family?

[Anonymous]

OP here. After much thought, I've decided we will let her go when school starts this August. I will try to make it work on my own in the afternoons with work. When the baby gets here, I'll take care of all three on my own, knowing the big kids will be in school half the day. When it's time for me to go back to work next spring, I'll decide then what to do, whether daycare, scale back at work, or find a new nanny.

Everyone on this thread was snarky AF which really wasn't necessary and made awful assumptions about me for simply asking a question, but this helped me determine that I really don't need a nanny at this point in our family life, and I should stop trying to stand on my head figuring out how to keep her for 14 hours a week, for only a few months.

[Anonymous]

Give her some notice for the love of g-d

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After much thought, I've decided we will let her go when school starts this August. I will try to make it work on my own in the afternoons with work. When the baby gets here, I'll take care of all three on my own, knowing the big kids will be in school half the day. When it's time for me to go back to work next spring, I'll decide then what to do, whether daycare, scale back at work, or find a new nanny.

Everyone on this thread was snarky AF which really wasn't necessary and made awful assumptions about me for simply asking a question, but this helped me determine that I really don't need a nanny at this point in our family life, and I should stop trying to stand on my head figuring out how to keep her for 14 hours a week, for only a few months.

Op, it seems like you still need a bit of self reflection. Yes, maybe there were some posters that crossed a line but when a vast majority of respondents are telling you that you are coming across as selfish, entitled and unrealistic….maybe the problem is you.

Nevertheless, glad you have realized that a nanny is clearly not the right option for your needs/budget constraints and hope that both you and your former nanny can find situations that are a better fit.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Agree to disagree.

Methinks this is a thread full of over entitled nannies, or nannies who have been treated badly by families in the past.

We treat our nanny wonderfully and love her and she loves us. But it’s not a crime, nor is it “selfish, entitled and unrealistic” for our children to grow up and to troubleshoot ideas for how to scale back or adjust our hours, then to come to the conclusion that perhaps the best option is to part ways. Which, though it’s no one’s business and not relevant to my question at hand so I didn’t mention it, was our original agreement with our nanny since last August. She was always aware that we would part ways when the kids went to school all five days. My latest wondering about whether we could extend that timeline was simply because of how much I love her.

“Give her some notice for the love of God” is literally so over the top of a response. What is wrong with you guys. What did you think I would do, kick her out with my boot and change our locks? Literally WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. After much thought, I've decided we will let her go when school starts this August. I will try to make it work on my own in the afternoons with work. When the baby gets here, I'll take care of all three on my own, knowing the big kids will be in school half the day. When it's time for me to go back to work next spring, I'll decide then what to do, whether daycare, scale back at work, or find a new nanny.

Everyone on this thread was snarky AF which really wasn't necessary and made awful assumptions about me for simply asking a question, but this helped me determine that I really don't need a nanny at this point in our family life, and I should stop trying to stand on my head figuring out how to keep her for 14 hours a week, for only a few months.

Don't post on DCUM if you don't want the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Agree to disagree.

Methinks this is a thread full of over entitled nannies, or nannies who have been treated badly by families in the past.

We treat our nanny wonderfully and love her and she loves us. But it’s not a crime, nor is it “selfish, entitled and unrealistic” for our children to grow up and to troubleshoot ideas for how to scale back or adjust our hours, then to come to the conclusion that perhaps the best option is to part ways. Which, though it’s no one’s business and not relevant to my question at hand so I didn’t mention it, was our original agreement with our nanny since last August. She was always aware that we would part ways when the kids went to school all five days. My latest wondering about whether we could extend that timeline was simply because of how much I love her.

“Give her some notice for the love of God” is literally so over the top of a response. What is wrong with you guys. What did you think I would do, kick her out with my boot and change our locks? Literally WTF.

I am.nitba nanny and, yes, I think you will do exactly as your last paragraph

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Agree to disagree.

Methinks this is a thread full of over entitled nannies, or nannies who have been treated badly by families in the past.

We treat our nanny wonderfully and love her and she loves us. But it’s not a crime, nor is it “selfish, entitled and unrealistic” for our children to grow up and to troubleshoot ideas for how to scale back or adjust our hours, then to come to the conclusion that perhaps the best option is to part ways. Which, though it’s no one’s business and not relevant to my question at hand so I didn’t mention it, was our original agreement with our nanny since last August. She was always aware that we would part ways when the kids went to school all five days. My latest wondering about whether we could extend that timeline was simply because of how much I love her.

“Give her some notice for the love of God” is literally so over the top of a response. What is wrong with you guys. What did you think I would do, kick her out with my boot and change our locks? Literally WTF.

Ageing out of needing a nanny is normal and expected, but you are ignoring the fact that you will soon have a new baby, who will need care. Your plan seems to be lacking foresight. Mom of three here, who has never been a nanny but has 1) paid a nanny while I was on maternity leave in order to keep her (honestly, it was great!) 2) aged out of needing a nanny and said goodbye to our beloved nanny so she could move onto a new family. Good luck with everything!