The guilt around weening toddler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

It probably depends on one's level of engagement with any of the communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP trying to wean my 26 month old because I am done and his sleep is garbage because he still thinks he’s 6 weeks old and needs to nurse throughout the night.

I’ve liked the support I got to make it this far but it’s gone now that I’ve decided I’m done which is demoralizing. Did they ever care about me or just want me to go as long as possible?

Lots of guilt being pushed my way. Frustrating. Some will understand and some won’t but I want women who let the guilt get to them know it’s all BS. Your kid will be fine.

Have you considered disengaging from the people who are pushing guilt at you? You might want to consider that. And as you continue in your parenting journey, you're going to run into that from time to time and your best course of action is to ignore and disengage.

Based on her posts, it does sound like OP is disengaged from that toxic community and is warning others about it.

As I have continued my parenting journey, I have found there are few communities as toxic as those that promote breastfeeding at the expense of supporting women's choices.

Wait till you get involved with the red shirting and cell phones for kids communities! Breastfeeding's got nothing on that! LOL

Eh I have a rising kindergartener, and in no universe would I say the "redshirting community" has anything on the breastfeeding community.

It probably depends on one's level of engagement with any of the communities.

And the extent to which institutions such as hospitals, doctors and schools promote that community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As you can see OP, the MO of the breastfeeding advocates is if something regarding breastfeeding isn't working for you, it's your fault for doing it wrong. Doctors, therapists, and hospitals are not accountable for ensuring they give you accurate information. If you are misled or get sucked into a toxic community, it's not okay to warn other people about it. You should never have allowed yourself to be misled in the first place! Don't you see? This is really all your problem /s

But you are blaming the inaccurate information on breastfeeding advocacy versus the providers themselves. You are essentially saying the breastfeeding advocates are responsible for the inaccurate information you were provided and NOT the providers who to be frank, werent specialists for the type of care you needed, and furthermore, shouldn't be providing guidance outside of their expertise. Not to mention such a small portion of the population nurses, way less than 50% not just of the population but of women with infants.

Most clinicians only get X hours on nursing so they arent experts in pharmaceuticals while nursing. There are quite a few resources for medications while nursing. I am going to list them below so that if someone searches the website theyll have real resources. And I will be entirely frank about the medical community- you must be your own advocate in almost every interaction. You know your body best and you know your child best. I promise you that if your kid gets dx with cancer or some other type of condition, you wont just listen to the one or two doctors. You will do your own research- on clinical trials, peer-reviewed journals, etc. You will get 2nd opinions and try to find experts.

As a female, I constantly have to advocate for myself. My PCP and OB/GYN said my thyroid was fine. An endo did not and put me on meds and changed my life.OB/GYN also suggested BC when I was having extreme bleeding and clotting and periods q3weeks. I asked for an U/S before trialing BC and low and behold, I had a fibroid then had surgery. A pediatrician said reflux was not real and did not cause damage. A scope by an ENT showed damage from reflux and rx weight-dependent medication from 2mos-1 year.

You arent being failed by providers because of breastfeeding advocates. You are being failed because you think clinicians are omniscient and arent willing to question or entertain advocating for yourself. And this isnt just in PP or while breastfeeding, it is existing as an adult. Its a requirement to successfully navigate the complex world we live in.

[Anonymous]

MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Thank you so much for sharing these resources, though they are not really on topic for this thread. I am the person who said a therapist told me I couldn't use antidepressants while breastfeeding. I have not breastfed for 4 years, and am now on medication. Obviously, if I could go back in time, I would have sought out more information. Everyone has things they would do differently with the perspective of time and more information. But the people who provided the misinformation are absolutely at fault for giving me that misinformation.

The notion that breastfeeding was more important than my mental health did not emerge in a vacuum. I think it's sad that posters are choosing to hyperanalyze my choices while I was postpartum and lecturing me about what I should have done at the time, instead of discussing where that particular idea came from. But again, it's the MO of breastfeeding advocates to attack women when something goes wrong instead of recognize that there is a real problem that should be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Thank you so much for sharing these resources, though they are not really on topic for this thread. I am the person who said a therapist told me I couldn't use antidepressants while breastfeeding. I have not breastfed for 4 years, and am now on medication. Obviously, if I could go back in time, I would have sought out more information. Everyone has things they would do differently with the perspective of time and more information. But the people who provided the misinformation are absolutely at fault for giving me that misinformation.

The notion that breastfeeding was more important than my mental health did not emerge in a vacuum. I think it's sad that posters are choosing to hyperanalyze my choices while I was postpartum and lecturing me about what I should have done at the time, instead of discussing where that particular idea came from. But again, it's the MO of breastfeeding advocates to attack women when something goes wrong instead of recognize that there is a real problem that should be addressed.

Nobody is 'hyperanalyzing' your choices. You have a victim mentality that is clearly not doing your mental health any favors. The PP provided a ton of good resources that you could use for a future pregnancy, or to help educate others-instead you told the PP that they weren't on topic. Way to crap on people who are trying to help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Thank you so much for sharing these resources, though they are not really on topic for this thread. I am the person who said a therapist told me I couldn't use antidepressants while breastfeeding. I have not breastfed for 4 years, and am now on medication. Obviously, if I could go back in time, I would have sought out more information. Everyone has things they would do differently with the perspective of time and more information. But the people who provided the misinformation are absolutely at fault for giving me that misinformation.

The notion that breastfeeding was more important than my mental health did not emerge in a vacuum. I think it's sad that posters are choosing to hyperanalyze my choices while I was postpartum and lecturing me about what I should have done at the time, instead of discussing where that particular idea came from. But again, it's the MO of breastfeeding advocates to attack women when something goes wrong instead of recognize that there is a real problem that should be addressed.

Nobody is 'hyperanalyzing' your choices. You have a victim mentality that is clearly not doing your mental health any favors. The PP provided a ton of good resources that you could use for a future pregnancy, or to help educate others-instead you told the PP that they weren't on topic. Way to crap on people who are trying to help you.

I didn't ask for help. It's not wanted. I can't get pregnant again, not that it's any of your business. There is a reason giving unsolicited advice is generally frowned upon. I don't know why there are DCUM posters that literally can't comprehend that people don't always want advice. Read the damn room. OP didn't ask for advice either. Nobody is forcing you to post here.

[Anonymous]

Btw trying to use my mental health struggles against me is low. But a typical DCUM tactic. I hope one day people realize how embarrassing and shameful it is to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Thank you so much for sharing these resources, though they are not really on topic for this thread. I am the person who said a therapist told me I couldn't use antidepressants while breastfeeding. I have not breastfed for 4 years, and am now on medication. Obviously, if I could go back in time, I would have sought out more information. Everyone has things they would do differently with the perspective of time and more information. But the people who provided the misinformation are absolutely at fault for giving me that misinformation.

The notion that breastfeeding was more important than my mental health did not emerge in a vacuum. I think it's sad that posters are choosing to hyperanalyze my choices while I was postpartum and lecturing me about what I should have done at the time, instead of discussing where that particular idea came from. But again, it's the MO of breastfeeding advocates to attack women when something goes wrong instead of recognize that there is a real problem that should be addressed.

Nobody is 'hyperanalyzing' your choices. You have a victim mentality that is clearly not doing your mental health any favors. The PP provided a ton of good resources that you could use for a future pregnancy, or to help educate others-instead you told the PP that they weren't on topic. Way to crap on people who are trying to help you.

I didn't ask for help. It's not wanted. I can't get pregnant again, not that it's any of your business. There is a reason giving unsolicited advice is generally frowned upon. I don't know why there are DCUM posters that literally can't comprehend that people don't always want advice. Read the damn room. OP didn't ask for advice either. Nobody is forcing you to post here.

You literally solicited advice by posting here! If you post on a public forum, people will comment. You're just mad because everyone isn't completely agreeing with you. And you don't get to tell others if they can post or not-you're not allowed to police others' postings. You already had many of your posts removed by Jeff for violations.

You aren't going to bully me or anyone in this thread, regardless of your mental status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MEDICATIONS WHILE NURSING RESOURCES

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501922/
The LactMed® database contains information on drugs and other chemicals to which breastfeeding mothers may be exposed. It includes information on the levels of such substances in breast milk and infant blood, and the possible adverse effects in the nursing infant. Suggested therapeutic alternatives to those drugs are provided, where appropriate. All data are derived from the scientific literature and fully referenced. A peer review panel reviews the data to assure scientific validity and currency.

https://www.infantrisk.com/

he InfantRisk Center (IRC) is a world-wide call center presently in the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, School of Medicine, Department of Pediatrics, in Amarillo.

The InfantRisk Center is used by physicians, nurses, lactation consultants, and mothers in every part of the world. Virtually all calls are about multiple drugs, averaging 3-4 individual drugs. We do our best to help moms, lactation consultants, and doctors evaluate the risk to the infant from exposure to multiple drugs, and keep the mom breastfeeding.

Ask any of our staff, and they will tell you that this call center is a labor of love. We work every day to answer difficult and often unknown problems for our callers. But we are almost always able to find a way to help these desperate moms find a needed medication while pregnant or breastfeeding.

Thank you so much for sharing these resources, though they are not really on topic for this thread. I am the person who said a therapist told me I couldn't use antidepressants while breastfeeding. I have not breastfed for 4 years, and am now on medication. Obviously, if I could go back in time, I would have sought out more information. Everyone has things they would do differently with the perspective of time and more information. But the people who provided the misinformation are absolutely at fault for giving me that misinformation.

The notion that breastfeeding was more important than my mental health did not emerge in a vacuum. I think it's sad that posters are choosing to hyperanalyze my choices while I was postpartum and lecturing me about what I should have done at the time, instead of discussing where that particular idea came from. But again, it's the MO of breastfeeding advocates to attack women when something goes wrong instead of recognize that there is a real problem that should be addressed.

Nobody is 'hyperanalyzing' your choices. You have a victim mentality that is clearly not doing your mental health any favors. The PP provided a ton of good resources that you could use for a future pregnancy, or to help educate others-instead you told the PP that they weren't on topic. Way to crap on people who are trying to help you.

I didn't ask for help. It's not wanted. I can't get pregnant again, not that it's any of your business. There is a reason giving unsolicited advice is generally frowned upon. I don't know why there are DCUM posters that literally can't comprehend that people don't always want advice. Read the damn room. OP didn't ask for advice either. Nobody is forcing you to post here.

You literally solicited advice by posting here! If you post on a public forum, people will comment. You're just mad because everyone isn't completely agreeing with you. And you don't get to tell others if they can post or not-you're not allowed to police others' postings. You already had many of your posts removed by Jeff for violations.

You aren't going to bully me or anyone in this thread, regardless of your mental status.

I don't care if you post here. I said nobody is forcing you to post here. But don't complain when people don't thank you for giving them advice that they didn't ask for. Posting on DCUM does not automatically mean a person is asking for advice. But I'm guessing you know this, but like to use your "advice" to try to bully people. You're not being kind and you absolutely know that.

[Anonymous]

But since you posted here and that apparently means you are asking for advice, I will give you some. Stop incessantly giving people advice as a cover for insulting their abilities or intelligence. It's clear what you are doing, and it doesn't reflect well on you. But it's your choice!

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m on your side. It’s not crazy to try to get information on how to do things from other mothers when you are a first time mom. That is the point of parent groups. We don’t join them for “validation” Of our choices. We join them to get info on how to make hard choices when medical information is lacking. OP joined breastfeeding groups to get support to understand stuff about breastfeeding, including weaning. That is so normal and logical. I do not understand criticizing this. Then OP realized these groups don’t just give info but also judgment and sometimes wrong, weird, bad advice, so she quit. OP did everything right. She had a hard time. Leave her alone.