If you are new money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

[Anonymous]

It a white American "cultural thing" and despite being here over 40 years, I obviously don't get it. If someone poses a $$ question, I will usually provide the facts, other than what our net worth. I will not lie about it. I'm a physician, living in a nice home with nice cars, etc. Most people can guess why my income range, what my home is worth, cars, and what our vacations cost. However, they can't "guesstimate" family net worth so I don't share that but yes, if they ask what we paid for something, vacation/home improvement costs, household costs, etc I don't mind sharing the info. What's the harm with being forthcoming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

[Anonymous]

Do you talk about your money?
No. I cannot imagine talking about money. It seem tacky and inappropriate.
Show your money? Buy flashy things?
No. But we do take numerous vacations each year.
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have?
My wife.
Who do you talk bonuses with?
My wife.
Or stock investments?
I talk to friends about investment choices, but not about how much I have in my investment account.
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?
No. All of this seems odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money?
No. I cannot imagine talking about money. It seem tacky and inappropriate.
Show your money? Buy flashy things?
No. But we do take numerous vacations each year.
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have?
My wife.
Who do you talk bonuses with?
My wife.
Or stock investments?
I talk to friends about investment choices, but not about how much I have in my investment account.
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?
No. All of this seems odd.

+1.

[Anonymous]

We never talk about money with friends or other family members. We might talk about investment strategy but that’s about it. Our adult children have a sense for our net worth because of estate planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

...Thats the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were reasonably well educated but we were not well off. But it was still an obvious (if unspoken) rule that talking about money was distasteful. I think it's just more common now, but I still find it shocking.

In the past week I have been asked:
-How much I paid for some property I just bought.
-Did I finance my wife's care?
-What is the interest rate?

I am slightly stunned each time. My wife says I'm the snob, not them, they're just making conversation. I guess so.

I think the interest rate question could be they are also in the market soon and wondering what kinds of rates people are getting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

[Anonymous]

I also have been shocked at the nosiness of some people - such as my SIL (DH's brother's wife) who asked how much our new roof cost (why??? They live across the country from us) and I said "I don't even know, so you don't need to know."

The same relative once said to me in a somewhat excited voice that she heard we stood to inherit X amount of money when my mother died. I was totally shocked. It meant that my DH must have speculated to his brother about my mother's net worth (two homes and some land). But this was years before she actually passed, and no one had any idea what her care costs would be, if there would be anything left of her estate. I had never speculated to my own husband about my potential inheritance, because I had never even speculated to myself. So to hear this from his brother's wife was very creepy. I guess she is just someone with no boundaries and an obsession with money. I absolutely would never discuss any money thing with her.

But if someone else asks me what I got for the sale of X, or what we paid for our used car, I tell them. I think sometimes people are just trying to get a sense of how bad inflation is or not... they are not being nosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It a white American "cultural thing" and despite being here over 40 years, I obviously don't get it. If someone poses a $$ question, I will usually provide the facts, other than what our net worth. I will not lie about it. I'm a physician, living in a nice home with nice cars, etc. Most people can guess why my income range, what my home is worth, cars, and what our vacations cost. However, they can't "guesstimate" family net worth so I don't share that but yes, if they ask what we paid for something, vacation/home improvement costs, household costs, etc I don't mind sharing the info. What's the harm with being forthcoming?

Get help with your bizarre obsession with racializing everything.

[Anonymous]

New money is an outdated phase and doesn’t mean anything.