Whatever the reason, it's nobody's business. |
This. We just kind hobble along until they can do for themselves. That’s bleak I know but unless you have a solid crew of other single parents people just don’t get it. |
Play dates are good (you and another mom can take turns).
Get them in a scouting troop (good for many reasons). When they are older, Volunteer commitments. Perhaps weekend classes:like art or a foreign language? Can you put them in camp during the summer and take a day off from work once every two weeks? Hire a neighborhood teen who could entertain them for a fun few hours (take them on a picnic? Cook a meal together? Scavenger hunt? Nature hike?) I almost never got breaks. It was hard. But I was always a single parent, so knew what I had signed up for. (I did gave a few rare breaks when I went on business trips. I flew family members into town to stay with my child.) Good luck! |
People like you are so shortsighted. I am sure there are 100 reasons why she is not pursuing this option. Stop assuming what other’s lives are like. |
Is there a yard they can play in while you do stuff from home (on the phone or internet)? Not ideal I know, but fresh air and exercise sure beat “screen time.”
Maybe they take turns choosing where you will go out to dinner if they don’t interrupt you for a certain amount of time (barring emergencies of course). |
If you belong to a church (or other religious organization), I wonder if anyone would help you out…at least until you get a more permanent plan in place? |
No, SWAP babysitting. As an SMC, this is how I never paid for a babysitter. You could just put up a notice in your neighborhood newsletter. |
I think you should plan a week long overnight camp for both kids. Elementary is a great age to try this and it will give you much needed time to yourself.
I find that I don’t feel recharged after a few hours with a babysitter since I’m always hyper aware of the time and when I have to be home. Also, this sounds counterintuitive but I signed my kids up for a lot of sports. I can get some work done during practices and longer games give me a break. It’s easy enough to carpool with other families too. Sometimes I drop off the kids (plus a friend) and I’m free for several hours without paying a sitter. The other family brings them home. |
I couldn’t afford a lot of babysitting every week (because my daycare expenses were so high). For 2 years, I was able to hire one of DC’s awesome teachers to occasionally take him home after school (and drop off some weekends) for a few hours so I could catch up on work or errands. I also hired a few mother’s helpers—young teens (lower cost) to play with DC while I did heavy housework or paperwork.
What I really needed was a reliable weekend daycare center to drop off and leave DC for a few hours. Never found it but I’ve heard some in home daycare providers will offer this weekend service for regular clients. I also reluctantly relied on TV, mainly Elmo and Curious George dvds, for an uninterrupted hour. Exersaucers are also great to contain and entertain toddlers who can tolerate sitting still. I rarely traded off sitting because it was too much work and responsibility to watch someone else’s child who didn’t necessarily want to follow any basic rules. |
You find a good single friend who might sit for free. I used to do this for two friends but one took advantage by coming home 24 hours later than expected and I was left with a 7 year old and 2 year old twins. That was the end of my helping her. |
It's sad but true. Mine are now in 6th and 4th and it's a lot easier. But when they're young, it's non-stop and the only true breaks you get are from the co-parent, family, or a sitter. If your financial situation permits it, get an au pair. Or at least some after-school help. I had a wonderful student from Catholic U help me out for a first few months after my divorce and she was magnificent. |