Can I go on vacation out of state with my kids if DH and I have no custody agreement?

[Anonymous]

Do 3.5 weeks solo at your parents, then 3.5 weeks with the kids at your parents’ house m. Yes, you’ll have to fly RT twice; that’s life.

Get it all in writing with your DH.

[Anonymous]

Thanks again. I have no plans to keep them out of state permanently. I have been taking them every summer for seven weeks since kindergarten. I like the idea of me just going for longer so he is compelled to take care of them and I can take care of my parents. But they will hate it. They don’t have a close relationship and he feeds them sugar and unhealthy meals and no structure with video games and movies. They will enjoy that for a few days but not for much longer. They tell me they are still hungry on the one night a week he gives them dinner.

[Anonymous]

What you have done isn’t that relevant. No judge is going to let you take the kids that long. Welcome to divorce.

[Anonymous]

You could take them, but since your husband has already made his complaints clear to you this might make you look bad in a custody trial. Right now you look like a disagreeable woman who think she owns the children and refuses to compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks again. I have no plans to keep them out of state permanently. I have been taking them every summer for seven weeks since kindergarten. I like the idea of me just going for longer so he is compelled to take care of them and I can take care of my parents. But they will hate it. They don’t have a close relationship and he feeds them sugar and unhealthy meals and no structure with video games and movies. They will enjoy that for a few days but not for much longer. They tell me they are still hungry on the one night a week he gives them dinner.

Make meals for them that he can reheat. They cannot develop a close relationship if they don't spend time together. This is a good time for them to spend time together. Movies and video games is ok in moderation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you have done isn’t that relevant. No judge is going to let you take the kids that long. Welcome to divorce.

They will but not for that reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. He doesn’t want me to go on my own as then he would have to take care of them. I would love to go when my school ends but I am staying an extra 3 weeks because he won’t take vacation to take care of them alone. And his parents who are only an hour away won’t do it either.

What's wrong with summer camp?

[Anonymous]

WTH is parallel parenting?

He can say whatever to the courts if you take them without his permission and then it’s out of your hands.

My DH is taking our kids on spring break without me, but he has my permission so it’s no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d let him choose….
A. You go alone, and he figure out child care / vacation
B. You take the kids with you

I was thinking the same thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. He doesn’t want me to go on my own as then he would have to take care of them. I would love to go when my school ends but I am staying an extra 3 weeks because he won’t take vacation to take care of them alone. And his parents who are only an hour away won’t do it either.

What's wrong with summer camp?

Summer camp is expensive. They’re not used to it (and not all kids love summer camp- mine don’t but that’s bc I’m home in the summers and haven’t had to glamorize it). Summer camp is not as good as a summer with their grandparents. I’d hate the idea of sending my kids to summer camp for 7 weeks when I could spend it with them and my parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTH is parallel parenting?

He can say whatever to the courts if you take them without his permission and then it’s out of your hands.

My DH is taking our kids on spring break without me, but he has my permission so it’s no problem.

It means she's trying to set it up for full custody with silly faults so he gets very limited visits.

[Anonymous]

Without a custody agreement you’re free to do as you wish. That being said I think your best option is to put the ball in his court. Tell him you’ll either continue the status quo of taking them for seven weeks like you always have or have him watch them by himself for the seven weeks you plan on being gone. If he chooses to keep them home to spite you they’ll survive and he’ll probably absolutely hate it. He’s only threatening you to be a prick and to control what you’re doing.

Or maybe you can use this as an opportunity to hammer out an actual custody agreement. That way everyone knows what they can and can’t do.

[Anonymous]

Leaving your kids for 7 weeks isn't going to look good if it comes down to a custody battle.

You need a lawyer, and a plan. Just taking them isn't a plan, but leaving them for 7 weeks isn't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you have done isn’t that relevant. No judge is going to let you take the kids that long. Welcome to divorce.

I don’t think the OP is actually divorced yet.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry if this is an obvious question, but does he not want them gone for seven weeks because he will miss them or is it a control issue?